Why Did I Do This . . . I Hate my RNY
I have been so horribly depressed the last few days, I can't figure out what is wrong with me!!! I want to eat a full meal and I hate that I did this to myself. Everyone on these boards is so positive and loves their RNY but I just am not getting it!
I feel so alone and like I lost my life. I want my energy back, I want to eat dinner with my family, I want to love what I did, but so far I regret it :(
Jami
Jami,
1st off your normal.......I had the same thoughts for my first 2+ weeks. Thinking, "What did I do?" I missed eating my food, etc.
Take a deep breath........This will pass.......What I did to help myself was when they sat down to dinner to eat, I went and walked on my treadmill, if you don't have a treadmill go outside and take a walk......And remind yourself why you did this......I could only eat 2T. at 2 months out. But when the weight was melting off of me that's when the depression went away and I was excited and thanked God for this gift......
It's very hard at first......remember you can have SF popscicles, that was my life saver.
PM me if you need to talk......Or if you want to talk on the phone give your number and I'll call you. Hang in there........
Trust me these feelings are only temporary......Holidays are still hard, but when you have support from everyone around you it makes it easier.
Kelly
It gets better over time. I was on liquids for 4 weeks (Unity program) and it was no treat. I am now almost 4 months out and I am feeling pretty normal. I eat with my friends and family all of the time. Some people don't even notice the food I do and don't eat.
Food and eating habits can definitely be attached to depression. Before things get too stressful, it would be very beneficial to have an appointment with a psychologist.
You are normal...I felt like that for the first 4-6 weeks. Once I was able to eat the soft solids my whole attitude changed. The first few weeks are the worst...Your hormones are going CRAZY from the surgery, the stuff they used to put you to sleep (I can't spell it), the pain meds, the pain, the lack of food, the not chewing, nothing crunchy...It gets better. Just hang in there. I don't know anyone that didn't have "buyer's remorse". But ask on the board and you will have a hard time finding anyone that still regrets it.
Get plenty of rest, know that for a time you will not be able to eat like a normal person, but eventurally you will. It will happen, slowly, but it will happen.
Bookmark this post and in a month see how you feel....
Debi
I can totally relate. I had the same feelings for almost 4 months after surgery. But it is SOOOOO worth it! My doctor put me on antidepressants for a few months to help with the depression. Like others have said, your hormones are running rampant right now. Loss of fat releases them into your body and can do a number on your mental health. Breath.....you are totally normal. This too shall pass. If you need to talk or anything, feel free to PM me. ((((hugs)))
I am so sorry to hear that you are feeling horrible. I wish I could take away the pain. But I can't. One thing to remember is that you are mourning the loss of a best friend - food. I don't know about you. But when I was happy, I ate. When I was sad, I ate. And worst of alll, when you are trying to heal after surgery, you get the barrage of "food porn" on tv (Commercials) which makes it 10 times worse.
You haven't lost your life. You are mourning. Come to a coffee and/or go to a support group. The feelings are normal. But you need to establish a group of people you can come to when you feel like this. You are not alone! Its tough, but oh, so worth it.
Hang in there. Tomorrow will be better. I promise! :)
Kelly
Can't give you much advice...since I don't have the RNY, but I guess all I can say is "Stay Still." In other words....stay still and give it time.... let the emotions come out, feel what you need to feel, don't supress... and let them come and go. For a lot of people regret is very normal.. eventually..it will likely go away.
I knew I just needed to reach out to all of you and know that this is normal. I can't help but want to be 4 months out, 6 months out, at goal. I swore I wouldn't wish this journey away since it was going to be so life changing, I also didn't realize it would be SO emotional, I should've known (you don't fully realize what all of the info/research means until you experience it)!!
Thanks for all your replies I am sure there will be many more struggles and hopefully some WOW moments too ;) and this will be the first place I come!
Jami
