OT- ok family, serious off topic question here...

Alright, as you guys know, I started dating my best friend.  This is moving in super fast forward.   My question is this.......how long before you "knew" he/she was the "one"?   We've been friends for a quite a while, basically tell each other every little bitty thing, always have.  From the first time we talked we finished each others sentences and thoughts.  Heck we don't even say stuff out loud and the other person answers!   In my entire adult life this has never happened to me.  I've never been happier or more content in my life.  Heck, my son had a little teenager attitude issue at school today which normally would have sent me into a tizzy...sure I was upset with him, but no drama.   And Lamar feels the same way.  We talk about totally inappropriate stuff already, like where we'll live, who the band would be at the wedding....no kidding.  Like its nothing, like we've been at this for years. Geez I really don't sit still for long!  HELP!!!!

My only advise is be leary of the rebound. After my ex husband and I split I started seeing my best guy friend shortly after. Long story short and a whirlwind of a romance two months later we were broken up and are no longer friends. I miss our friendship terribly. My immediate thought is that if your gut is causing concern over the speed of things than perhaps you are rebounding. I could be wrong. Just be cautious is all I'm saying... my 2 cents worth.

In light of a recent post, I wanted to let you know that I red your post, but do not know how to respond. It is hard to write your feelings correctly on paper. I really believe that everone has the relationship they want. (stole from my favorite movie). But I believe it. He might be what you really want right now, but only you know what you want for the future.

Good luck to you.

My first response is, go slowly. You thought alot about chef Rob and he was not the right guy.  If this is right, it will happen. Today I am having to remind myself, one minute at a time.

Ok.....my $.02!  You just came out of a relationship that you were so positive and energetic about.  Like Lisa, be careful of the rebound.  YOU need to sit down and answer your question honestly.......and being that you are asking shows that there is fear and fear is not knowing.  I could be wrong but it sounds as if you are desperately trying to find "the one".  I would advise to slow down, heal, find out who you are and what you REALLY want and need in a partner.  If you are not whole then you can not give and thus a relationship won't thrive.  What's the hurry anyway?  You've been friends forever so what is a little more time?  I hope you understand that I say this in love because I care.  If you are asking "how do you know" then obviously you most likely don't.  When you know there is NO doubt!  I met my DH for the first time ever and 8 months later we were married.  Our marriage has been tested.  Until recently, I was holding on to my "baggage" and that nearly killed us.  This past year and a half (WLS) has brought out the "baggage", I sought counseling.  My baggage is gone and things are better then ever!  My whole point is that I have a "hunch" that you have some baggage, hurts, ect. that need to be dealt with before you can have the relationship you desire.  If he is truely your friend he will understand the "wait" and will encourage and support you thru this WHILE developing a great foundation for a relationship.  Sorry, so long!  HUGS!  Best to you!!!!

This is my story and I'm sticking to it... I started to date the best friend right away. I didn't mean to, but it happenend.  I heard so many people warn me about the 'rebound' thing I was ready to call Webster and have it declared a cuss word. And almost 14 years later into a great marriage I just tell folks to follow their heart. I'm an old romantic kind of gal and love happy endings so I may not be the best one to give advice. We waited a year to get married just to makes others happy.  What a waste of a year- we could be going on 15.  I hope this works out for you. Nothing beats marriage to your best friend when he/she remains your best friend after the " I do" thing.

sending happy thoughts,

Robin 2-1

Trust  your gut -- not everyone else's.  I knew my ex-husband for 7 years before we married.  The marriage only lasted 5 years.  I knew my current husband as a friend for 2 of the 3 years after my divorce, then started dating and we were married witin 9 months of the first date.  We've been married 22 years this summer.  We finish sentences (to the point where he says I was just thinking the same thing, and I respond with -- I know, I can read your mind), get along great and still feel like honeymooners......And you can ask him in front of me any time and he'll tell you he is happily married too!!! I've heard lots of opinions on how long you should date someone before sleeping together, getting married, moving in, etc.  I think it depends A LOT on the couple and their maturity levels.  We each know each others boundaries and faults and all are part of the package.  As long as you two are happy, you do't have expectations that are unreasonable (you can't change the other person) and it won't hurt anyone else, who cares what anyone else really thinks?   My hubby and I felt the same about each other and knew we were the one almost immediately after beginning the dating scene.  Others I dated for a few months and knew almost immediately they weren't the one but hung on any way.  What a waste of time!!! As long as you aren't settling for less than you really want out of a relationship,  have fund with it!!!

XXOO

Have fun... dont worry about tomorrow till tomorrow.  Get what you need from this and youll either turn around and go Hey..this is it... or Hey...this filled a need I had.

Bottom line is just have fun and stop fretting.... enjoy yourself!

I agree with everyone...be careful, live for today, etc. etc. Personally, in my situation, my boyfriend (I love saying that) has been wanted to blurt out the "3 little words" and I keep telling him that he just can't.  We've know each other just over a week - you can't possibly know me well enough to know whether you love me or not.  However, I know your situation is different becuase you've been friends with him for a long time prior to dating. I still think you should be patient and give it more time since you just broke it off with Rob.  There's nothing wrong with talking about future plans - but give yourself enough time to know whether those plans are really what you want.   If you love him now, what's the difference if you give it a few more months just to make sure??? Good luck!

This applies to many of life's situations and certainly this one....don't sacrifice your future to meet your present need. I hear all the good and wonderful things you describe about your friend and they are great. It's strange to me though that you feel you need to ask for others opinions on how you should feel about it all. That makes me wonder if YOU really believe deeply that all of the wonderful fantastic things in your friendship translate into long lasting, forever kind of love...do you? What do you want and need out of the relationship right now, right where it's at? It's really your choice in the end and you're the one that has to live with the results - whether they be beautiful and wonderful for a lifetime of happiness together OR short-lived and less than you'd hoped or desired. Be careful and honest with yourself - that's the most important thing - not what I (or anyone else) thinks or feels. You deserve a loving, respectful relationship that is based on a foundation of trust and honesty and is built to withstand life's challenges.