Who are you telling about your WLS?

One of my sisters called today and would like to get together on Saturday.  I have only told a handful of people about wanting it and she isn't one.  Since starting my journey, I have told even less.  I just don't want to tell people.  It isn't a big deal - at least to anyone but me and my family.  KWIM? Am I not seeing an other side?

I only told people that I felt needed to know and would give me support in my choice of surgery. My friends and family have been the greatest and if someone ask now I tell them I had the surgery. So to tell or not to tell is your choice you do what is right for you. Congradulations on your journey. Deb

Personally, I told everyone and I still do tell everyone... I remind them that it is not the "easy way out" that it is a lifestyle change and that the surgery is simply a tool to get things kickstarted.... I have had nothing but positive feedback... although before my surgery I had a lot of people trying to talk me out of it, but held to my guns, stated the facts that I knew and made a life saving decision... I will never regret what I did or who I told...  I know that there are many here that choose not to tell others, but I am proud of the decision I made to save my life for my children and my family..... KIWIM???? You need to do what you feel is best for you... for some it is to keep it quiet and others it is to shout it from the mountain tops..... You will chose what path is the best and it will work for you... Best of luck to you Gwen!!!! Hugs,

I haven't had surgery yet, still getting all the pre-lim stuff done, but I have been pretty open to everyone.  I figure "hey, they aren't stupid".....they are going to know something is up when I am gone for a day or three, then come back sore as a one-legged man in a butt-kickin' contest and on a liquid diet.  Plus, I get to see their reactions....most have been rather "shocked" or disappointed.  "Why don't you just stop eating and exercise" is the usual response, or "isn't surgery a bit drastic?"  The people I get the most support from are people who have had it done.....and I am AMAZED at how many there are out there!  But for the most part the response I get from thin people is that I should have enough will power to lose weight on my own.  "You should try Weigh****chers, or Atkins, or South Beach, or TOPS....etc"   And  my response is, "I have".  My own doctor is against me having surgery, she thinks that since I lost weight MULTIPLE times in the past that I should be able to do it again.  I wasn't even sure WHY I would gain all the weight back myself until Dr. Gluck explained it to me (about the whole ghrelin thing and the need to "overcompensate").  So now I think I am learning to keep my mouth shut.

You sound so much like me!  One of my dearest friends - like a 2nd mother -  who I was expecting to be a bit more supportive was really disgusted when I told her I was looking into it.  She tends to be a bit conservative anyway, but she said that I needed to try harder, just like she needs too. (She's maybe 15 lbs overweight.  She is also 65 yrs old.)  I think she is one who thinks that overweight people are on a quest do devour anything and everything in site.  She does not have one heavy person in her family.   Since she hasn't known me all my life (but I thought she'd new enough) I tried to explain that I haven't ever been overweight.  Then she offered to led me her South Beach diet book.  I gave up. My other friend sympathizes a lot more and is behind me what ever I decide.  I am hesitant in telling that one sister ahead of time because she is quite vain and I think she'll have a cow thinking that I could end up her size...or thinner...and she'd pester me about not doing it.  I doubt that I will be her size - not that she is as thin as she used to be, but she hates any competition with guys.  I am not doing it for a "look at me" result.  I am doing it to have a better life with my kids.  She's an alcoholic and there is not point in trying to reason with one.  So I have decided not to bring it up until it is obvious something has happened.  Good luck on your journey! Gwen

Until I was actually approved for surgery and had a date - only a few close family members and friends knew of my quest.  It took my 18 months to get all the way through the process - so I'm glad I kept the information close until it was official. Once I had a date I had to reveal the news to co-workers since my work load needed to be covered while I was off for 5 weeks.  Then word spread pretty quickly throughout most of the building where I work --- nope, wasn't thrilled that news spread, but not much I could do about it.   I don't necessarily keep my WLS a secret, but I also don't shout it from the rooftops either.  If someone asks, I'll tell them.   As for family.  Well my mom and sister both had WLS before me and my mom in particular was excited about my news... so she tended to blab about it to everyone.  Pam

Pre-op I told very few people.  Only my closest of friends knew.  It wasn't until a week or two before the surgery until I told my entire family.  I wasn't planning on being vocal about my surgery, but being a high school band director timing became an issue for me.  I had surgery the Monday after my marching band camp.  I told the kids that I was having surgery and left it at that.  Many of my seniors became concerned and wondered if I was ok.  That prompted me in allowing my boosters to make the announcement of what I was doing.  So my journey that I thought would be a private one became quite public -- I've got 220 students in my program and am quite visible in my communicty because of the band.  Being public lead to a great deal of support, I never heard a negative comment.  I know that my journey has inspired many of my students, parents, and fellow teachers to get healthy and lose some weight.   Having WLS was the hardest decision I had to make and has been one of the best things I've ever done.  It is a very personal decision, I do believe that it is people are much more open and understanding about the struggles we face than those who had the surgery several years ago.  I've had several people come and ask me about WLS as either they or family members are looking to begin this journey. Good luck, remember there's no right or wrong side here.  What works for one might not work for another. --Sax

HiJAck!!!! I'm one of your closest friends?!?!?!?! I feel like a hug is coming on...... Next time I see you buddy,,,,,, You can pull my finger any time. You are now a member of the manly men of WLS. And ladies,,,,he's gorgeous. Not as good looking as me but pretty close. And he smells better than Jon. kp Back to the OP. - Tell who you want. Don't take pressure. kp

Gwen, I am still pre-op, but I have decided not to tell too many people.  I guess I am still afraid that I will fail once again, and don't want the "I told you so" comments.  However, my sister, my best friend both have had WLS and I have told them because I know they will be supportive.  And of course my DH.   I feel this is a very personal choice, both to have the surgery and to tell.   Bernice

I'm telling everybody.  I'm proud I've decided to do this to help my health.  I have been lucky because my family and friends have been really supportive. One friend was kind of vocal about thinking it was not a good idea and I just asked her if she had ever been 100 lbs overweight and she pretty much shut up.  Good Luck.  I'm proud you made this decision too.