i'm such a terrible dieter

ok, I was going to stay away for a few days again, not cause i'm mad at anyone, but because i'm terribly disapointed in myself "AGAIN".  but instead, i'm coming here to share my badness in hopes someone might be doing the same thing.  I doubt it, I'm probably the only bad dieter, therefore unsuccessful person here.  so here I go.  after weighing in yesterday and having lost some weight, and being happy, I must of tought it was time to celebrate, duh!! anyway, I got up yesterday with very good intentions, had a protein shake for breakfast and was able to eat a little around 10:30.  well, low and behold around 2 I was starving so I started grazing, "all afternoon" till supper, like I was hungry.  Anyway,  I forgot, or neglected to have coffee in my day, around 8pm i had a headache so bad, i went to bed. fell asleep and woke up around 10:30 and thought i was dying.  so i got up, and grabbed a pepsi (for a quick caffine fix)  OMG,  don't, repeat, don't do this.  I went to bed after with the pepsi, the headache started to ease a little, BUT !! i woke myself up with a mouthfull of puke, choking, I almost died.  I coughed all night, head pounding, and this am, a little better, other then a one lb. gain.  I am having my coffee, BUT, I am certainly getting off this Caffine kick.  this is bull ****  I feel like a drug addic.  so my suggestion is if you have beeen having caffine, don't do it.  I bought caffine free coffee for months, ran out and slowly got back into the caffine fix.  It gave me energy and help me with my morning (tmi) poop.  anyway, please, please, your bodies are all going through such a major change, adding caffine to the whole process is NOT good.  anyway, i'm going to Rehab today, wish me luck....  you all know there has to be one bad apple, I guess that would be me.  sorry guys !!!

NO NO ur not the only bad one... Yesterday I ate 2 brownies.... and with this cold i cant swallow anything... so I had some sprite... Yeah I know I cant drink soda after but i need some sparkle to go down.... I feel like i'm gonna hack up a lung trying to get all the mucus out.. (sorry tmi)


You can do this... so sorry about the experience that happend last nite thats aweful... Great big hug....

Cheryl you are not the only one that is bad i have 3 cups of caffine coffe every morning...last night i ate way to much for supper and then hubby has peanut butter whoppie pie and i ate 1/4 of that. then had stack of sons pringles and then i made one of the apple pie thingy ruth makes with splenda and brown sugar and ate the hole apple.. you will get it cheryl just keep trying..we are all bad at time...

Cheryl!  Please stop beating yourself up!  I SOOO feel for you!  You have worked this band as much as you can and I think you are doing AWESOME with what you have had for restriction so far!  I'm very proud of you!!!!!!   I know it's hard to cut out the caffeine......just cut back slowly or you will have withdrawals!  Now that you have some restriction from your band, it's really hard to relearn all the things you had been taught so long ago!  BUT!!!!!  I KNOW you can do it!  Just a little at a time, ok???   Please don't leave us again!  Keep coming here and venting and I know I'll do anything I can to help.......even if it's just typing a few words at you!  You're gonna get there!!  Keep the faith!

btw........I ate 3 Hershey kisses today!!!!!!!!!  Do I feel bad.........NOPE!!!!!!  Not beating myself up about it at all!!!!!!!  Now I'm heading off to go eat Chinese!!!  AND.....I'm STILL not gonna feel bad about it either!

Hugs!
Ruth

Cheryl you are a human we all make bad choices even when we know they are bad. I know that you are not alone in the terrible dieter catagory, none of us would be here now if we didn't have a bad diet days, Keep you chin up tomorrow is another day!!!!

Oh Cheryl.....if this was easy for any of us - and if we didn't feel like "failures" at some point or another - would any of us ended up having surgery?  Sometimes it feels like this whole obesity/weightloss thing is a crap shoot - it is such a complex problem and the medical community is really only in it's infancy at having effective solutions. This is definitely not a one size fits all kind of problem.

I can totally understand your frustration - how you must be so discouraged. But believe it or not - sometimes it just may not be your fault..... You seem to be experiencing a lot of what I did before my surgery, and yes - you can say well that's all fine and dandy - but I'm loosing weight - which I am, not as fast as most nor am I at sizes that most people are at given my weight and height. What terrifies me - is that with the RNY this restriction I have can end - I see so many people who have regained the weight  and it is very possible this weightloss many only be temporary.

What I don't know - and I wish I did so I could pass it along to you - is why I'm able to eat right about 98% of the time - what has triggered me to not "need" to eat all the other stuff. Some of it may be that I have brainwashed myself. I know I have become anal about preplanning my food for the day - for 2 reasons - so I don't get lazy and just grab junk and also so I never let myself get too hungry - cause I may have a smaller stomach - but I do still get hungry easily. What I have had to do to work around this is to plan small meals 5 or 6 times a day.

What I don't do well is to get in my water, most days I only average about 50 ounces. And I drink coffee....with caffiene......at least a great one, black from my beloved DD daily.

Ramling....I'm sure I'm rambling here - what I think I'm starting to see is you getting very close to having your tool finally be where it needs to be - which is why you are experiencing some of the things you are - and it will be a rollercoaster for awhile if I am right with the adjustments, both emotionally and physically,  you'll be going through. Hang in there, we are right here to help you through this - if you need time off the boards, I understand - but if you need our support we will be right here.