Scared

A good family friend had her surgery yesterday in Louisville. She started out pretty bad after the surgery, and things went down hill. She died this morning around 6 am. I have been looking into this surgery for some time. I wasn't really scared of the risks or anything until now. I am scared to finish going through with it. I have a 16 month old daughter, and I am scared that the same thing will happen to me, and I will leave my daughter behind. Does anyone have any advice on how to move on? My family no longer supports my decision for this surgery. They are telling me it is too dangerous, and they don't want me throwing my life away. I am pulled into so many directions. I want and need this surgery so bad. But I am scared I will face the complications that this friend did.

Hi Kira As you may know I did work with Dr. Sonnanstine for several months as he was a great teacher and mentor to me. I was able to join him in surgery over that time and I watched him closely. This surgery is without risk, knowing what I do about Dr. Sonnanstine I am more than sure he covered those risk with you. Alot of the high risk patients are revisions, those with heart and lung problems..those with kidney problems (like me)and going into this surgery with co morbidities makes you a higher risk.. HOwever, there is always a risk going into any surgery..you could have complications having your toe nail removed if you are going under anesthesia..the question you need to ask isn't whether this patient died but perhaps the reasons for the death..often times the death is unrelated to the surgery but a secondary complication.. I can tell you that Dr. Sonnanstine is an excellent surgeon, his laparoscopic skills are amazing to watch, he has an incredible OR staff and anesthetist..(ask the doc ifyou can have Dan) he is the best and who I asked for when he operated on a friend of mine. He also watches his patients very closely after surgery, for any signs of problems...when he tells you he will visit up to 5 times a day on the floor he is not kidding.. If it would help I would be happy to talk to you voice, in person and with your family...This surgery is such an important decision, it is life changing ..but I can tell you and promise you the changes have been incredible, the things I can do today I could not do 3 yrs ago..how much healthier I feel. email me direct and we can exchange phone numbers.. lets talk voice. Brenda

First, let me say that I'm very sorry to hear about your friend. If you're doubting that a bypass is the right surgery for you, you might try doing some research into getting a band instead. The complications, when they arise, are much less severe and it is incredibly rare for someone to die as a result of band surgery, since no organ cutting is involved. I understand what you are going through and I'm very sorry to hear about your friend. I decided against getting the RNY I had initially wanted after several friends had problems, so I know how it can rattle you. I got a band instead and I am very happy that I did. For me, it was the right decision. Everyone is different. Peace, Kristina 500/397/199

All great advise posted here!! I would be scared too if I had just lost a friend during this surgery. No surgery is with out risk. Did your friend have other health risks? We are all different. We have to do what is right for us. Maybe talk over this fear with your surgeon. I;m sure that will help. Dr. Shina was very upfront about risk and even death. Give yourself time. Doc said in one of the classe and it has stuck with me "there is no such thing as an emergency RNY" Blessings Tonya

such good advice here Kira...I am glad we got to talk voice and hope I calmed your nerves. Dr. Shina is correct when he told Tonya there is no such thing as an emergency RNY..I like that saying! Lapband is always another option, but whatever you chose this must be your choice..and yours alone. Go with your heart..talk to your doctor about your fears. Brenda

Kira I just read your post and I am so sorry for you loss. This surgery is life changing, that is for sure. For me the life change has been unbelievable. Dr. Sonnastine did my surgery 10/17/05. I researched for 2 years. Yes the death stories are devastating but keep on doing your reasearch. For me I felt I had no other choice. Dr. Sonnastine was in my room 4-5 times a day.He was wonderful and I know he is the best, in my eyes. I have twin girls who are 7 years old and a wonderful husband. Yes I was scared but at 45 I had high blood preasure. I am diabetic, was diabetic, suffered severe back pain , had high cholesterol. I thought what is my life going to be in 10years. Would I force my family into taking care of me, or would I chose the surgery take a gamble, small one, and start living my life and playing with my girls. In 2 months I am down almost 50lbs I work out at Curves 4days a week and I feel wonderful. I did not have any complications. I wish you the very best and what ever your decision is it is the right one for you. Good luck and God Bless

I really appreciate the advice posted here. I am taking it all in. I was able to talk to Brenda about the sitaution, and I decided that I am going to go ahead withthe surgery. Our Friend, Debbie, had more complications than I do. She had heart, lung, and kidney problems. She was on Oxygen all the time, got her way in a wheel chair, and had the awfulest time walking. If I do not take the chance she had taken, I could eventually end up with the same problems she had. I have too much too live for. I am still going to see Dr. Sonnanstine. I really like him from the get go, I just won't be able to set up the appts. until Febraury. I get taxes back and that will pay for the program fee.

GOOD LUCK KIRA ME AND MY WIFE DECIDED TO GO TO GEORGETOWN IT IS CLOSE AND THE STAFF IS FRIENDLIER. BRENDA TELLS ME THAT DR. SONANSTIEN IS A REALLY NICE AND GOOD DOCTOR SHE KNOWS HER DOCTORS SO I TRUST HER. THIS IS HARD TO DECIDE BUT I DO UNDERSTSAND NOW HOW SOME PEOPLE ARE REALLY HIGH RISK WHEN THEY DO THIS SURGERY. YOU WILL DO GREAT.. MERRY CHRISTMAS GUESS I BETER GO HELP MY WIFE. CHAD

Kira, lets talk again real soon... hey Chad, I have communicated with Dr. Sonnanstine and he is fine with me being there for anyone *****quest me. I did spend a great deal of time with him and we worked great together..I learned so much and owe him tons of gratitude. My work schedule has changed and I am just not able to spend the time I once did...However, if a patient request me I will do the best I can to be there..so don't worry about what anyone else says, what the doc says is what goes!! If you want to attend his seminar in January I will be happy to meet you there.... send me an email to let me know.. Brenda

Kira, I am so sorry to hear about your friend. Even though death is not high on the risk side of the surgery it is a very real posssibility. I felt when I had my surgery in June 2002, that I had very few options left for weight lose. I prayed and researched the surgery for 8 months. I felt a sense of peace going in knowing that if I died on the operating table, that at least I died doing something to improve my life and not being destructive by poking food in my mouth and becoming bigger. I knew that my current life style would lead to certain death if i didn't lose weight. It didn't matter that I was an active person, my body couldn't care over 400lbs. This is a big decision to make. I will pray for you in both your lose and your quest to make a decision to have or not have the surgery.