bad time

I am having a really rough time.... I ended up in the stress center lst weekend becuse of all the stress I have been under. last week my husband told me that he doesn't love me and that he doesn't feel romantically about me. I had a panic attack and an anxiety attack... my heart is broken.... we have been through a lot and for him to feel this way about me really hurts.I was supposed to go back to work today and I had another mini panic attack.. I got dizzy and I passed out in the shower. I am a mess and to make matters worse I am used to feeding my depression with food nd I can't eat so that makes me more depressed. my dr put my going back to work til Monday to give me a few more days to compose myself. My husband and I have worked it out that I will stay here for atleast 6 months and he would pay all the bills so I can save up some money but we are living totaly platonically and I sleep on the couch... But I am so lonely in my own home..... I wasn't going to tell you all this but I needed to get it all out because I am hurting so much... I wish my life was not so full of drama I would love to trade me life for a dull boring existance

mindi i am so sorry that this is happening to you . but you are a strong person and things will work out in the end. take care of you and thing swill work out in the end. vicki

I am so sorry this is happening to you. You deserve better. Definately. Don't be afraid to share with us. We are here to support you. If you ever need to talk, you have my number still? Linda Vicory

Hi there, So nice of him to spring this on you when you are already going through so many changes, very considerate of him...............jerk! I'm so sorry all of this is happening to you. What's this 'I will stay here for at least 6 months' stuff. What, after that he's kicking you out!!! He can't make you leave without a court order. And where you are living is considered 'marital property' it's not 'his' house---even if it was prior to marriage. Girl, given everything you have gone through medically I'd kick HIS butt out to sleep on the couch. After all, HE is the one who sprung this on YOU. He should be inconvenienced, not you!!!! AND you are still healing! What a jerk!!! Grrr...................... I"m sure you are in shock right now and I'm sorry. Don't let him push you around. Life is not over. Pick yourself up and brush yourself off. You are on your way to a much healthier and happier person, with or without him. The only one you have control over is yourself. Everyone else can----and pretty much do----do as they please. We all care about you. Keep talking ;) Please don't let this sabotage everything you have worked for. It's a major change, no doubt about it. And your life will be a whirlwind for awhile. It will get better. Hang in there. Tania

Oh Melynda, I'm so sorry you're going thru this rough time. I posted a couple days ago about my husband having some issues as well. I know that feeling you've been having and the "knot" in your stomach. Please take care of yourself and also please post more often or email others. I know my posting helped me and just hearing from others was a BIG help. My situation is a little different than yours but when you've been with someone for so long and they are your life, it is devastating. I have not had a panic attack but I do cry in the shower ALOT. My thoughts will be with you and if you need anything or just need to talk let me know. Regina

melynda, I am so sorry to hear this. It definately had to be a blow. I totally agree with Tania, he is the one that should be suffering not you. You are going through enough as it is with healing from your surgery and all. Do not let him push you around and inconvenience you. If you honestly believe that these are his true feelings and there is no way you all can work things out then start getting things in order now..That includes setting up a savings account and putting money away for yourself to help you. And above all don't forget that we are all here to help. I don't believe that there is one person on this board that would not help you with anything so ask and keep posting. we are here to help. I myself don't normally post a lot but believe me when I say these people here have all helped me in one way or another just by their posts. I appreciate the fact that we are all in this together, struggling to succeed in our journeys and helping each other along whether it be a personal journey or a weight loss journey or any other kind of journey. You are in my thoughts and I hope all works out for you...And rremember you come first so take care of you... Good Luck Honey Dawn

Melynda, Sorry to hear about your relationship. Please take care of yourself and seek help from those around you who love you and are your friends. You are going to have struggles, but hang tough. You have so much in your life to be proud of. You are taking the first step by doing something to improve your life by having WLS. I don't know you or your husband, so I have no place to judge or speculate but we are here to listen if you need a shoulder to cry, complain, cuss or laugh on. Keep praying, maybe things will work out for you two. If not I always say, that in the future you may see this as a good thing. Some of God's greatest gifts, are unanswered prayers..................and I do believe that. Best of luck. Pauletta Mtowngirl

Melynda, Sorry to hear about your troubles. I met you at the clothing exchange and immediately thought wha a sweet person. I live in Pittsboro. If you need to get out of the house or someone to talk to, let me know.

my husband is not a bad guy... I have been sleeping on the couch since my surgery. he actualy moved the bed up against the wall because I have a fear of falling out of bed especailly since our bed is so tall but I haven't felt comfortable enough to go back to bed yet.... Gary is a good guy and I guess every marriage has issues it is just that my husband has lost the loving feeling... we have been through so much. I guess I am hoping that with time things might change but if they don't I will survive.. I have been saving up money and I have a friend that says I can stay with her but I am still holding out a little hope even though I am hurt....

so sorry to hear that you have an additional burden to deal with at this time. it might be that he cannot handle the changes that will occur in the future for you and he also may be feeling insecure. he may be saying he's lost the loving feeling to protect himself. does he have low self esteem? either way the decision he made is effecting you BUT opportunities arise when doors are shut in our lives. take one day at a time.