Excess Skin Issues 2 years out

Hello I am trying this again I don't know if my first post went through. I am two years and 4 months from RY surgery. I have lost 120lb and have a lot of excess skin. I was totally rejected by a man recently because he was not phyiscally attracted to me because of it. I really liked this person and never thought to tell him about my WLS surgery or anything. I truly did not think or realize it would be an issue for men. I think I have been on such a high with the wt loss and everyone telling me how great I look that this took me by surprise. The main issue is that it totally turned my world up side down. I am totally devasted, I dont even know if I can explain it. It has affected every part of my being how I see the world, how I view men, women, society, everything. And it 's not positive, like a wake up call sort of. I feel so bad about how I look naked I can't fully explain it. and I don't think that his opinion makes him some bad guy or that I need to down him. He was honest about how he felt. So, my question is has anyong gone through this and if so how are you handling it? I guess it is just another part of the surgery and something I have to face and deal with. Any advice or feedback would be appreciated.

Susana, I am fairly new out,... only 5 months. So, I'm not where you are yet. This guy, though, I don't know how to put it into words. My husband has loved me fatter, and thinner, and pregnant, and long haired and short haired, made up, and just out of bed in the morning... I think if you really love a partner, you start finding them more attractive, becuase of the love. Despite their 'problem areas'. My husband doesn't think himself good looking, but he is too me. Okay, I don't know where I'm going with this, but I just wanted to tell you, I think you deserve to find someone who loves you and thinks you're the most beautiful woman in the world. Linda Vicory

Susana, We all know that there are different things that attract...or detract us. I tend to prefer men who have beards...each of my husbands have had them anyway. I don't mean that as a slam to those who don't have one...it's just my preference. Don't take it personally that this man couldn't handle any excess skin. Know what? He was NOT the man for you. Go on. There are men out there that doesn't mind that at all. Just keep looking. He'll come along. In the meantime, it's time to make some friends with other losers on a loser to loser basis...not scoping for a future hubby basis. Why? How else are you going to realize that you are who you are and you deserve to be loved for who you are? Period. There is nothing like socializing with others who have that in common with you to help you realize that. I would like to invite you to join us for the clothing exchange tomorrow (see Dawn's post). BTW..congrats on the weight loss! Sherri

Susana, First, I want to say welcome to the boards and Congratulations on such a great weightloss! I am so sorry that you are going through this hardship on your journey with the loss of your relstionship/boyfriend. Unfortunately I have not had the loss but can truly understand the emotions that you are having due to the excess skin. I am having PS on May 8 for hernia repair and panniculectomy and am approved for insurance coverage for this, I am so thankful that I have been given this opportunity and hope that anyone that can, will check into having this procedure if needed. It can be covered by insurance with the correct documentation. If this is at all possible for you, I suggest maybe checking out this route! I do agree with Sherri above though well for that fact Linda too- You should be proud of yourself for your accomplishments! That being said, I would also be grateful that he was honest with you now about his feelings and not much later and then things would be even harder, not that it isn't hard now, but at least he was honest! Now you are able to mourn your loss of him and move on! You will find someone in time that is right for you! Take this time to become comfortable and happy with yourself and realize the great strength that you have to have done this journey and the awesome results that you have had! The rest will fall into place! I encourage you to join us in our gatherings, I am not familiar with a dating wls site, but we do have some guys involved in our group- some are married, but some are not- that being said even if you just come for the support and friendships maybe something can happen later for a relationship- when it is meant to be! I know that we have all faced some unwanted happening in our lives, I know I have been experiencing them myself- BUT I am a believer that all things happen for a reason. YEP, some of em I don't like either- BUT - there is a reason and there is stiil someone out there that would be proud to sport you on their arm one day and be proud of your accomplishments. Be strong and don't settle! Hugz to you! If you can make it to Indy today for the clothing exchange and friendship/socialization please do- maybe you need a dose of HOOSIER LOSERS! Hugz Dawn

Dawn Thank you so much for the response and support. I would love to come to one of your gatherings for WLS patients. I would really like to try and make the clothing exhange tomorrow if you can get back to me early enough this morning maybe I could make it. I really need to be around people who understand what Im going through. My family knows everything but they mostly just feel hurt with me and don't have too much to say. Just not to give up and to remember where I CAME FROM Before the surgery. I was always stuck in bed, couldn't even get up to go to the bathroom or get up and make myself something to eat. And i remember all that. And today i run from sun up to down and then go out in the evenings. My life is so different than it was almost 3 years ago. It has totally changed for the better. But I could go on and on. And we have all heard how our health was affected by being so heavy. Mine sure was. So, if you can call me at 219-5881407 and let me know where and when the clothing exchange is. This tuesday is my support group meeting in Chicago at the Univ of Chicago Hospital. The topic is plastic surgery and the doctor is DR. Zachary. So, I am looking forward to that. Dawn, can you tell me exactly what a Pannilectomy is?

Susana, I am so sorry that you missed the clothing exchange- it was saturday from 1-4! We will continue to have them. We normally have them in Jan, Apr, July, and Oct! Keep an eye on the boards and you will stay informed of them as well as the other gatherings that we have! It really is a great group and we have fun and make lasting friendships! As far as the panniculectomy, this is having the excess skin removed from your panni- or belly area- the apron of skin hanging in the front! It offers no lipo or muscle toning just the skin removal! This is what my insurance would agree to cover, my finances are not able to pay for the extra so this is what I will have done and hope to be pleased with after the outcome of my upcoming PS! Please feel free to continue to contact me as needed and feel welcome to post on the boards! Where exactly are you located, maybe there are others from your area or we could arrange a get together some time???!!!!???? Hugz Dawn