Thanks Angel

I got a very nice card from my angel this evening, I think she reads my mind. I get a great card from her every time i am having a bad day with the grandkids..  For those who dont know, I am fostering three of my grandkids, they were taken from their mother by the Protective Services, She was on Meth and had overdosed.   the kids were such a mess, they didnt know if they were coming or going, their home was nasty dirty and they were walking around in animal waste, the boys bed had a whole in the middle of it where the dog shredded it.  there was moldy food on plates in the kids rooms, dog waste in their mothers bed. etc... you can probably imagine... I have called the welfare on her so many times it isnt funny, i felt that they just thought i was one of those grandparents that wasnt happy with anything. finally she OD'ed and some one realized i wasnt kidding about what my grandkids were living in.   She is finally passing drug screens after 5 months of me keeping her kids.....  she finally has a job and actually physically looks better.   The kids are pretty good over all, they pick on each other alot which i am not used to on a daily basis but we are getting by.. i ground them, wont let them have pop unless they ask (no more than a couple times a week) They get so hyper!   The boy has a learning disability and is 11 and can hardly read at all.  they have issues with all they have been through but they are getting better every day.  Their teachers wrote awesome reports about how far they have came sinse they have been with me.  That helped me alot.. made it all seem worthwhile.  I was ready to buy a house 5 months ago and now i am trying to figure out how to come up with the money to pay a lawyer to file bankruptcy.  we are not licensed foster parents so we get no money to keep them and we dont qualify for more than medicaid for them.  we are financially devistated.  I worry every day how we will make it. i have bills that havent been paid in 2 or 3 months...  I worry every day about it but i am thankful that i was able to get them instead of have them go into a regular foster home.  When i catch myself having a pitty party i think of those who have suffered more devistating events like Dawn who lost her home and Autisimom who lost her little son.  It brings me back to reality and i am thankful to have what i do.. I still worry about what i will do to get by tomorrow.  Thats how we live, day by day.  I havent been on much as i have been trying to clean out closets and make more room for the kids, The garage needs it and i finally got a bed given to me for one of the girls.  they are two girls 12 and 7 and a boy 11.  I feel terrible because i havent been a very good Angel for my angelette. I wrote her the other day and and she is such a sweetheart she made ME feel good,,, isnt that what i am supposed to do for her?????  Ohh well i hope you dont mind my venting here..  Some days i cry about it and some days i laugh to keep from crying.  Yes depression is an issue!  I miss reading every ones posts and i think of you all and wonder how every one is doing.  I noticed there are alot of new people who have just had surgery and some just getting ready to. I wish you all the very best.  can some one tell me how to change my profile, i used to be able to change things on it but last time i tried it wouldnt let me change or add to my text.  Hope you all have a good weekend.  Love and Hugs, Carla

CARLA...I KNOW IT SEEMS SO OVERWHELMING, BUT YOU ARE TAKING CARE OF PRECIOUS CHILDREN THAT ARE OUR GREATEST GIFTS IN LIFE.  I WILL SAY A PRAYER FOR YOU TO KEEP UP THE STRENGTH YOU NEED TO COPE WITH THIS .  ALSO SENDING YOU A BIG HUG TOO......DEB 

Carla, First of all, big hugs. I know as a grandparent, I wouldn't have let my grandkids get in the system either. I hope their mother continues to improve...but I think I would be real cautious of letting them go back to live with her. Hopefully the child services will monitor her VERY closely if the kids do eventually go back to her. You know hon...everyone who chose to be an angel, should have chosen it for the emotional support (not material). And when you give support, you are helping yourself as well. I am quite sure that your angelette never once thought 'hmmm, and she's suppose to be supporting me!'. No. Instead, I can guarantee you (and no, I haven't spoken to or heard from her) that she felt good that she was able to help in any way she can. Your angelette was being a friend...and that exists with or without the angel group. The angel group just helps us to make friends with others that otherwise, we may only know through here. I do trust that our OH friends on here will see your need and will respond in prayer or in any other way that God lays upon them to help. Sherri