What about Me??

Hello all,

Mari here.

Okay so Cory did the surgery, as most of you know I support him whole-heartedly. It has been an experience for BOTH us. Bu****ching him brave all of this and watching all of you has given me insight and courage..

I am 5 feet tall and weigh almost 200 pounds. I have never had weight issues until the last...hmmmm...maybe 6-8 years. I literally am in LOVE with food. Always have been. Since I was a a baby I have always loved to eat and it has been a huge part of who I am. Every job I have had, people always asked me..."so what are we eating today Mari?". Everyone knows I love to eat and I have made a huge joke of it all my life. Even when I was so small I was actually trying to gain weight (my 20's)...it was always this running joke that if you wanted to eat really good, call Mari. She knows where all the great resteraunts are or she'll cook you something you'll never forget.

But you know what...as I write this, tears fill my eyes...cause its not funny anymore...

Stairs are impossible to me...I am embarrased at work becuase I have to stop halfway up the stairs and people shoot me a look of disgust. My mother in law stood up at my wedding and referenced me as her "butter  ball". Now....I'm black...I know we have some strange terms of endearment...but I'm sorry, I hate that she calls me that. My own mother makes comments to my husband, that I have only been married to for less than a year.."Mari USED to have such a beautiful body...she didn't look like this before".
That hurts. I have tried diets, doesn't work for me. I don't have health issues and I don't excersice self control when I eat. I have always had a HUGE appetite, but until about 2003 or so, it was never an issue. I have to do something BEFORE I end up with issues. As I support my husband who just had surgery a week ago, I am forced to face my own demons.

My question is, I am thinking of the lap band surgery. According to the BMI calculator...I am considered Obese and may be eligible. There are other couples here who have done it together. I KNOW that Cory and I will be a great team doing this, but I am scared. I don't like wearing jeans because they are too tight around my waist! I can't imagine a band around my stomach...ugh. But I have to do something and fast! I need a tool to give me a boost. Any suggestions? I have heard about the sleeve as well. I heard that you have to have health issues to have the band..is that so? I plan to talk to my doctor of course, but I wanted to hear your advice first and then I will talk to her and make a descision...IF I can even do it...not sure if I even qualify.

What I am sure of, is that I need help...and its very hard to give someone you love something that you need yourself.....

If you are feeling that strongly - you at least owe it to yourself to go an informational with YOURSELF in mind.  It's a different experience when you have YOU on your mind instead of a loved one.

You will know and God will tell you if it is right for you.  I have seen you talk about prayer working for you - it worked for me!

I was still questioning whether to get it or not when they called me with my surgery date.  When they said the date, it was my BIRTHDAY and I knew God was trying to tell me he was giving me another chance at life.  I had RNY in December and it was the 3rd best decision I have ever made.  What were number 1 and 2, you ask?  #1 = saying YES to my DH and # 2 = deciding to have a baby right after we got married even though everyone told us to wait.

Hey Mari- I agree with Natalie...go to a seminar for you...See if you qualify for lapband. Oh by the way...you don't feel the band around your stomach, but you know it's there when you eat too fast or take too big a bite and don't chew well.
If you don't qualify, follow the diet that Cory does....get rid of junk food, cookies, cakes, candy, pasta, and white rice. Look at some of the recipes that Dawn posts, you will find new ways to cook.
When I weighed 286 pounds, I didn't like to wear jeans either, but I do now! Keep posting and keep learning from Cory and I'm sure you will do well. You still have to make good choices even after surgery.
PM me if you want to discuss anything.
Good luck, the choice is yours, no one can make it for you.

First call you ins. make sure they cover the lapband.  Second there are a lot of things they consider co-morbidities.  Do you snore? Could be sleep apnea, back or knees hurt, period messed up usually due to pcos when you are heavy.  There is High blood pressure, Diabetes do you have a family history of either?  There is a lapband board check over there you will gets lots of info from it.   As for feeling the band you won't feel it except when eating too fast, too big of bites or too much.   It is just like my knees other than the scars I wouldn't know they had been replaced.  So go ahead go to a seminar they can also help you figure out possible co-morbidities you may not realize. If your BMI is over 35 you can figure out a couple co-morbids and your ins. covers it you are set.   Good Luck!     

I could not give any better advice then Carol gave you. If you feel it in your heart to get the help you need to be a healthy woman then go and find out if you qualify and then see what options are there for you.  It took me over 1 yr to decide and all the while I was slowly gaining more weight while trying to lose.
So don't take the jokes any longer we all love food that's what keeps us going its just some of us like the taste a wee bit more.
I did not own but 1 pair of jeans before and they had elastic waist band so when I grew they could expand. I now have 8 pairs and they all have ZIPPERS>>>>LOL!!!  Cory wants you to be around to grow old with so see whats there for you!!!

PS.................. I had bad knees and Adult Asthma, but I think it is really up to what your insurance requires for you to have any WLS> I have had my band for 2 yrs and you do not know it's there unless you eat too fast or take too big drink.... Then be ready to have it come back up.... I would do it again in a heart beat!

Karen

Hey Mari, It doesn't matter what color you are, Butterball is not an endearment. You do what you want for yourself first. Then Cory, then if you want to invite your mother and MIL, tell them after the fact.
You know Cory will support you and that is all you need. Go to an informational meeting, Only you can decide which  surgury is right for you. When I was deciding, I wanted the RNY, but, decided on the lapband because it can be reversed if you have a real need for it to be. It is a slower weight loss then the others, but it has be proven that you will lose the same amount of weight, it just is slower.
We will be here for support whenever you need us. And again, if you want to talk, pm me with your # and I call you back.

Huggles

Lisa

 Mari 

You have every right to think about you.  I think it is very realistic to think about a lap band.  I almost went with one but I had too much weight to lose and decided that I would be better off with an RNY.  

I highly recommend a seminar and maybe a book or two.  My favorite book has been  Weight Loss Surgery:  A Lighter Look at a Heavier Subject.  It was written by a weight loss surgeon.  She covers all the surgeries, the good, the bad and the ugly.  She walks you through each process, the before care and after care and experiences.  I got mine on Amazon.  

Only you can make the decision if you are ready for the committment.  It took me 5 years to make mine.    But, once I decided, there was no stopping me.  I knew when the time was right.  I truly believe that God led me to the right time and the right surgeon for me.  It has been an awesome ride.  I do not regret it a bit.  

I had to have an "in your face" moment that was the final straw for me to make the decision to have the surgery.  My aha moment was trying to get off a boat and struggling.  I knew then, that I was missing out of so much in life and I wanted it to change.  I came home from vacation and started working with my doctor.  

Before that, I would try diets, but could not stick to them.  I knew I needed help doing this.  I could not do it alone.  The surgery has been my helper.  

I hope you find the answer you are looking for.  

Hugs

Nancy 

Nancy, thank you so much for your awesome advice. I read your posts and love your spirit. You're always realistic, honest and compassionate. Thank you for your insight!

Everyone, thank you for your advice! I really appreciate what you had to say and it encouraged me immensly!!!

My husband will support my descision, but he gave me his honest opinion that he doesn't think I need surgery. He feels like the only reason he did it was to save his life after the doctor pretty much gave him a 2 year death sentence (though we know God has the last word, He does work through doctors too). He said I just need to change my eating habits and excersize.
Man...I'm not trying to hear that! If that worked for me, I wouldn't even consider surgery. Helloooo.... I was kinda surprised to hear that from him , but, I understand. He's looking at me thinking I'm not that big...and that I only (ONLY???) need to lose about 75 pounds or so. That seems so impossible to me.

I know I can do it, the question is never the possiblity of anything. It is history of my attempts and self control. I will admit, readily, that I am unsuccessful at it because I have a very hard time fighting the hungry feeling when I eat and won't cut myself off.
According to his surgeon's nurse, based on my BMI, which is 39.8, I qualify for gastric bypass. Uh uh, nooo...I think that is too drastic for me....if I only need to lose anywhere from 60-75
pounds...GB works very well and  would take off too much....

BUT, I do need to lose what I consider to be a considerable amount of weight and I need help. SO, I am going to take your advice, all of you, and go to a informational and pray and make a decision. My a-ha moment was when I was sitting in front of a huge plate of food breathing heavily from walking from the kitchen to the table....and Cory was in the bedroom eating 4 ounces of soup. I thought to myself...what the heck am I doing? I'm killing myself while I was the one who encouraged my husband to live! Watching him just for the last week and a half has really been an eye opener to me. If he had the strength to go through this and the courage to face all the things he was in denial about for so long in order to get to this point....then I can too.

Thanks again everyone!