after surgery did anyone have problems with there spouse im scared of that

my husband  very good man ,,, he loves me for i am .. the  weight not ibg for him,,, but need to  do it to get healthy,, for me ,,, so just wondering for who had  the surgery  did u have any problems at all now .... 

What kind of problems are you referring to? Both myself and my DH had RNY. We had a very good marrige pre op and we have a fantastic marriage now PO. More than we could have ever hoped for.

If a couple has a poor marrige pre op then it probably will not get any better PO. Communication, commitment and respect for us is what has carried us through for coming up on 35 years in May.

Hope all the best for you and your spouse.

hey everyone ..

was just worried ,, i got  such  great husband ..nd i been trying change myself .. becasue im mom and never  have time for myself  he sees  me wearing makeup  and  got contacts ,, he worried im going change to  much him .. we got such  strong  marriage ,,  i think it will be even stronger after surgery .. , i was  blessed with great husband....  ... hope u all have great weekend

If your marriage is strong and secure now, there shouldn't be any problems later. I had a problem getting my husband to agree that I needed it, but he is 150% behind me now. After 43 years of marriage, I really don't think there will ever be any.

Lisa

I think the two others who answered this have been very lucky that this is not an issue, because for many it is a significant issue. From what I have read on this website over the last couple of years, sometimes there are problems after surgery. Spouses sometimes think that the person losing weight is doing so to be able to leave the marriage or other spouses become very jealous. I think it has a lot to do with the maturity of the couple. There are also men and women who particularly like to be with a partner who is overweight and not attracted to someone of normal weight. You and  your husband should talk about this issue now. It is important to discuss it in advance of the surgery and I'm glad  you are thinking about it now. If the two of you have issues with this, get some counseling before you proceed with the surgery.

Connie 

I had the DS a year ago (see my post today for an update).

Since I had heard many relationships crumble under the stress a big change like a weight loss surgery can make, my husband and I went to marriage counseling for a year before my DS and continue to go. It has been great. We did not have any "trouble" in our marriage before, but the counseling really helped us slow down and focus on us as a couple (we have small kids, so this time is a luxury for us).

My husband has been my biggest supporter. He wants me to be healthy and happy for ME. Patiently listening to me talk on and on about my hopes and fears. I think it is really critical that we have someone in our corner who loves us no matter what, to help us through this.

I like to say that I lost the fat, not the Nicolle, when I had my weight loss surgery. I am still me. My husband is still who he is. Together, we are stronger today than ever.

Strong relationships will get stronger through this experience. Weak ones may get weaker, may even break. I think it's important to get some counseling ahead of time.  

I hope this helps.

Nicolle

 

This was my biggest fear because I had heard from so many people that marriages often end after wls.  It is very common for insecurities to come out once the weight starts coming off.  It is so important that you both be on the same page and like Chris stated... communication is so important.  I have a great husband too but as the weight came off, I started feeling more confident.  I loved the attention I was getting from others and because I was not getting the attention at home, it did come close to ending my marriage.  Thank God I came to my senses and we were able to work thru some rocky times.  I do honestly beleive it made my marriage stronger but it was not easy..    
Good Luck to you.

Christina

my husband think that i will leave him when i lose my weight, so he is very insecure about that, and i tell him if yo uloved me when i was a big fat pig, why would i leave you when i get skinny?  the only thing i tell him is that i want him to carry me allthe time. lol, like up the stairs, through the door, whatever,lol.