ANYONE ELSE HAVE THIS PROBLEM?

Hey guys, haven't posted in awhile due to lack of a computer, but I was just wondering, am I the only one who has lost friends or it seems like people are avoiding you now that you have lost weight and are no longer considered a ''big'' person?? My personality has'nt changed I am still the same person on the inside, but I have had friends tell me they don't want to hang out with me anymore because men pay them no attention when I'm around- wtf??? Makes me wonder if they were ever really my friend in the first place. Does this mean that I have to make a whole new set of friends?? I am hurt deeply, can anyone out there relate?? Thanks, rachel

Rachel, I can totally relate to your problem...some of the ladies that I worked with were totally nay-sayers about me having the surgery...and believe it or not, they have yet to say one positive word about my weight loss...guess this one particular lady is just jealous that I have lost the weight that I have (114 pounds)...I think she thinks that I did it the 'easy' way...but we all know that it is not easy... I have learned that I may have given up certain foods for life, but I have learned that I can do without those foods in order for me to be a healthier person. At this point, I will take being healthier any day of the week, than to be the person that I was !!! But, I have also found myself being so much more outgoing than I ever was before...Hope this helps you... Norma

I am with both of you....Like Norma I have become more outgoing. The way that I look ay os screw them, I am happy with myself and life is good with or without the ones who dont want to be my friend. erica

No matter what you decide to do - whether returning to college to pursue a second career, embarking on a new relationship, or undergoing WLS - there are some people who will always try to persuade you that the path you have taken is the wrong one; others will encourage you to stand still and accept the status quo in your walk of life; still others will say you should turn around and take the familiar trail back where you just came from. I can't tell you why people try to drag us down into the particular hole they are coming from. But I do know that true friends are like warm clothes in the night air when the chill of winter comes - best when they are old, and always there when you need them. A real friend will remain by your side no matter what path you take. Janis Ian, one of my favorite singer/songwriters, says in the lyrics to one of her songs: "Don't walk another man's path; Don't sing another man's songs; Don't you pay the *****s of Babylon - And one thing I can say before I'm gone: Life is never wrong . . ." I say, "Amen sister." Hang in there, and I sincerely wish you the best on your journey. Steven

Rachel, I haven't seen too much of this yet but I have had it happen a couple of times. I had a party in August for my 39th and I invited a friend of a friend becuase his wife & my wife and he & I all got along so well on the first meeting. He wouldn't come to the party because he didn't want to be the only "fatboy" there. It's strange because he and I both go a long so well the first time we met. We both have the same interest ,music , hunting & fishing. etc.... I didn't like him beacuse we were both fatboys.....silly! Too bad for him I guess, he missed a hellava party and potentially great new friend! Don't worry about who your true friends are...they will shine thru when others fade away! C ya, Lee G.

Mean people SUCK~!!!! Thats all i have to say.... I've not had quite the same experience as you have with losing friends because of weight loss---but perhaps because of jealousy I have.....my boyfriend doesn't want me to have ANY friends it seems....doesn't even want me to go out with you all ONCE A MONTH.....because we'll end up at a club where guys will "hit" on me....geez....i feel like i've lost contact will all my friends and am losing touch with MYSELF. I just want to be able to have fun once in a while.....while I'm working 7 days a week---its not often that I can say I do. Hugs to you all~

I have had that to happen to me. I had a really good friend I use to work with. Then I moved, had the surgery and lost a lot of weight. During this time she gained weight. Everytime I go into town, I always call and send emails that I am coming and would love to stop by to see her. She never returns any calls or emails until I am back home. Something always comes up. I know she is self contious about her weight, but I am the last person to judge. I maybe small now, but I still have the mind of a big girl. The way I figure it, its their problem. Not ours. If they can't love us when there is less of us, then just like the extra weight, we get rid of it. Shed all the bad Start fresh and new Hugs!! Kim