I WANT RNY NOW !!

Hi everyone, I'm Gail and I am about 400# and waiting to either die (as is) or to get all things together and done so I can have the Lap RNY. I've checked out doctors, hospitals, aftercare, pro's, con's, pics, etc. I saw my surgeon Jorge Sosa (Hialeah, FL) in May 2005 and finally made up my mind during a frightening angina attack/ combo asthma attack. I was so scared that THAT was IT. Well, it's been about 2 weeks and have had some tests and appts set, but my cardiologist has been out of town for a month and wont be back til mid/Dec. Then, I also have my pulmonary clearance. Already am cleared by Psych and Primary. Just have to have bloodwork/xray/and the final clearances by the specialists. Of course Christmas holidays kind of seems to be hindering. I'd be happy to have it done today or Christmas - I don't care. As I am now, I am dying and I feel NO bottom to my gut - it has NO full sign unless I gorge myself until it backs up into my mouth. THAT is a horrid feeling. It is like there is no in between hungry and overflowing. AND I am not a bulemic. It just sits there in agony. Having GERD and IBS doesn't help matters. Why not start now on the "diet plan" - I figure if I am about to lose my "best friend" "Comfort" - Sugar - Chockolate - etc. I want to spend a bit of time with with them - stupid huh? At least I tell the truth. I feel I am about to say goodbye to ME and I have weird sadness and fear of the unknown life without food and yet the acceptance that there is no other solution for me and I refuse to take NO for an answer. Thanks for listening...G

Gail, More of us have been there than you can imagine. Please hang in there and don't give up. This surgery has saved so many lives, including mine I think I found peace in knowing I wasn't alone in my journey and hopefully, you will feel that way too. Keep the faith and stay focused~you deserve to have a healthy, happy and long life ! Take care, Amy 432/230/187

Gail, More of us have been there than you can imagine. Please hang in there and don't give up. This surgery has saved so many lives, including mine I think I found peace in knowing I wasn't alone in my journey and hopefully, you will feel that way too. Keep the faith and stay focused~you deserve to have a healthy, happy and long life ! Take care, Amy 432/230/187

One of the best things you can do to get prepared for the surgery is to wing yourself off some of the sugars and caffine your body is used to having. If you smoke, work on that too. Withdrawls from the amount of food is bad enough without your body craving for things it is used to having. And start drinking lots of water now. Yes a lot of us have been where you are. In sitting back and looking backwards, I see where the support of this board helped me a lot as I journeyed forward. One of the things a lot of us did was binge eat just prior to the surgery. It was like eating the "last" meal or your favorite foods over and over again. There is light at the end of the tunnel. You might want to read some profiles of people that have made this journey. I am also on the March 2004 surgery board and you might want to visit there and read some of those profiles. It would help you to see what you are facing.

Gail, Hang in there! WLS is a wild ride, but soooo worth the effort! Most of us understand your feelings about losing your "friend" but I want to assure you, that you WILL be able to eat after your surgery. I don't know why I thought I had to have one last meal at Olive Garden, Outback, Red Lobster ..... or some of my favorite foods - one last time. You don't have to do that!! I have eaten at all my favorite restaurants and with the exception of Krispy Kreme donuts, I've been able to eat all of my pre-op favorite foods. Of course, I can only eat a small amount (maybe only 1 bite if it high sugar), but that is OK - I get the taste I crave & I'm satisfied. And I don't eat them often b/c they're not the healthiest foods. But I can eat them! I know not everyone can do that (90% in my support group can), some folks develop issues with food not agreeing with them nymore, I'm now mildly lactose intolerant so I have to limit my dairy or take a Lactaid table if I know I'll be eating dairy. But I'm able to eat "normal". NOT what was normal or usual for me pre-op but what a "normal" thin person eats - healthy foods in small quantities. As for the donuts, well, I don't know if I can eat them or not b/c I haven't tried them. I LOVE KK donuts, used to eat 4-6 at a time, so I know they're a trigger food for me, and they have tons of sugar so I made myself a promise that I wouldn't eat any until my I reached my goal weight or my 1 yr. anniversary. So on 1/25/06 or when I'm down 10 more lbs. I'll be waiting at the Krispy Kreme shop until the "HOT" light is on, then I'll SAVOR 1/4 of a hot, Krispy Kreme donut as a treat and I'll walk away happy, satisfied but more importantly, HEALTHY & THIN!! I try to eat keeping 2 things in mind: 1 - Nothing tastes as good as thin feels. 2 - Most dreams are lost by giving up what we want MOST for what we want at the MOMENT! Good luck in your journey!! Vickie J. 277/152/142

Hi Gail. I know what you mean, ever since I made my final decision to have surgery, I have been scary-focused. I want it done, I need the help this surgery will provide. I am ready, ready, ready... but my insurance company is not. They want a six month documented weight loss attempt...and I don't have it, so I have to wait at least six months! It's not a deal breaker, the time will pass anyway, right?!?! I am excited for you and your future. Try to stay positive. Look for small things to do that can deter you from nibbling on chocolates and stuff. Do you have any hobbies? Do you work? I read your profile- sounds like you have a lot of stuff going on health-wise. I'm so sorry. If you have a Wal-mart nearby, they have the little carts- go shopping/window wishing!! I love to shop or just look at all the stuff when I'm feeling oogie. Seriously, this is the perfect time of year to go to the stores because everything is all sparkly and Christmasy!! Attitude is EVERYTHING to me, and thinking positive and making steps towards your goal a little every day, you can not help but succeed. Use this website, and poke around the profiles of folks here. There is so much joy to be found Gail, I hope that you see it for yourself very soon!!