How come no one ever shows us newbies this?

I am in shock of the memorial page . I was going for the DS and now I am realllly thinking hard on this and leaning big time to not doing it. for the long time I spent on this site reading and researching the net, I have never EVER been shown this until just last week and they begged me not to do it. For those of you who have never seen this page, I feel it is very important for anyone considering any type of WLS to at least know there are those who have passed on. Be it the same day as surgery to 2 to 3 years later from complication that developed then. It tells what happened on most of them if you take the time to read their surgery profiles. Good luck to all in the process and having their surgery's and I wish you all a successful journey. [url]http://obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/members/wlsmemorial.php[/url]

Brenda, All of the folks I know that have used this site for pre-op research knew about the Memorial Page. Some chose not to read the memorials, others, like myself, read all of them. I knew before I decided to pursue wls that death or severe complications were a possible outcome but when I weighed the risk of not having surgery, vs the complication risk, I decided that for ME, having wls was my best option. Yes, reading those memorials was scary and made me really stop and think, but I wanted to make an informed decision, and that meant looking at all aspects of wls. We must make our decison about wls based on what is best for each of us as individuals. At 8+ months out, I have no regrets but you must do what is right for YOU! Good luck on your journey, whatever you decide. Vickie J.

I think you have to search for that page - no one will show it to but you know or should know through your surgeon that there is that posibility of death. It's funny cause you can die from slipping on a banana peel or choke on a apple/food or cancer or other diseas and there are no forums of encouragement for many of those diseases and we have the fortune to have this Wonderful website where we receive so much insight and information - the good with the bad cause there is also a complications forum which I have lurked on. As Brenda said which I completely agree you have to weigh the good with the bad and really take a chance to see if you'll be okay in recovery or not. It's a gamble - but so is life as a heavy person not being able to participate in life, or enjoying your children so YOU have to decide which is more important for you. I chose to do it and have been complication free (that's not to say forever - but for now everything is great). I wish much luck in your decision whether to have it or not.

Brenda, Maybe you have answered your own question. You have dwelled upon death now for a long time. As I had said only you can decide if surgery is right for you. I will not talk you into it nore will I talk you out of it. However by all means if you feel like you won't live then the surgery is wrong for you. You need to stop and go on with life as you have been. Nobody has hidden the memorial page from you and Dr. Haicken has given you a lot of info. For you to make a educated decission You NEED to GO to a SUPPORT GROUP meeting and talk with those that have had the surgery. You are not well informed. Everybody is different. This is a lifestyle change and only you can decide if you are ready to comment the rest of your life to a new way of being. Either way it goes we all were born to die. Nobody lives forever on earth. If this surgery was totally dangerous Why are doctor's still performing the Gastric Bypas regardless what type it is? Why hasn't the FDA or the America Medical Assocation banned the surgery? Just like any surgery there is alway's a risk of death. Best of Luck and sorry that you have scared youself with the death issue.

For me, I was willing truly to die to get my life back. I wasn't living prior to my surgery, I was "existing" in pain ~ emotional and physical. I read the memorial pages too and felt horrible for those WLS friends. I think after I read them, I had a weekend of weighing the pros and cons before I finally had peace in my heart about my decision. But keep in mind, most of us were/are suffering from comorbidities that can take our lives away from us at any time too, so I just saw surgery as my last HOPE to gain my life back. This surgery isn't for anyone to take lightly, but I thank God it is/was available to those of us who gained our lives back! Good luck in your decision

Hi Brenda, You are right in your decision...and I am right in my decision. That is what this site is all about. We each have to come to terms with this important step in our lives. Surgery isn't for everyone, but even during this period where I feel like a failure today, I can honestly say that being 30 pounds lighter has been a great help to me already. The memorial page is a hard but great reality to this surgery and a reminder to us all that all life is precious. Those who had this surgery and didn't make it, had lives that they loved. So, by all means, take time to consider all the pros and CONS that are related to WLS and then make your decision with this in mind. No matter what you decide, I wish you the very best as you continue on in your life's journey. Blessings, Lori 293/263/140

Brenda Have you posted on the DS forum? It may help you gain some perspective to hear what people who have had the DS, have to say about it, and how they are doing several years down the road. I agree with everyone else. This is a decision you must make on your own. No one should be trying to talk you into anything. But, you need to look at it clear headed. It is very sad when anyone dies. It is particularly sad when someone young dies. But in some cases those on the Memorial Page were very ill to start with, some died several years ago, and there is a probability techniques have improved, some may have died because of errors their doctors made, do you have confidence in your doctor, and some may have died because it was their time, and nothing could have prevented their death. My Mother died last July. She was 88 years old (one week short of her 89th birthday) she died of complications from surgery for an intestinal blockage. She had never had WLS. Yet this is listed as a common post-op risk. Blood clots can happen to people who have not even had surgery, the same with blockages. I urge you to sit down with your surgeon and discuss your concerns. Talk to him about how he is going to protect you during and after surgery. Will he be giving you blood thinners to protect you from blood clots? What other things will he be doing to protect you from blood clots? How soon will he be doing a leak test, to protect you from leaks and infection? How will his post-op care continue to protect you from complications? Will your surgeon continue to be available to you for a lifetime of follow-up care? Make a list of the things that killed people on the memorial page and go item by item with your surgeon. Don't you think your surgeon should be given the opportunity of answering these questions? Perhaps you should consider going back to whomever did your psych eval and talk about this. Neither the psychologist nor the surgeon should try to talk you into the surgery. But they should be able to give you the information you need to make an objective decision about whether or not you wish to proceed. Your reaction to the Memorial Page is very typical. The Memorial Page is real. The slide show and the handouts the surgeon gives you probably list death as a possible outcome. But no one dwells on it, because lets face it, it is not a subject any of us really wants to discuss. But yes -- it could happen. The more procedures your surgeon does the less the chances it will happen --- so be sure you have an experienced surgeon. Good luck to you. I hope you find the answers you are seeking and that you find peace in your heart. Red

I don't know what happens to posts on this message board but today earlier, I posted a long reply to most of you and it said it was saved and to continue click here. I did and still no post showing. I guess it ate it lol. Anyways what I was saying in the post was I understand that each person is different and have to make their own choices. BUT, with the memorial page "hidden" so to speak as another in this thread has said "they don't show you that page", we cannot gather ALL the information we need to make a truly informed decision on the risks and evaluate what happened to those people and could it have been prevented kwim? I have become a good friend to a very nice lady who is the sister to a man named Russell bazemore who passed away and she herself has lost 100lbs on her own by eating differently and more healthy plus mild exercise to keep moving. She is supportive no matter my choice even after losing her little brother to WLS and that means a lot to me. I didn't know of a complications board either and still haven't found it. See these are things that we should know and go in if we do with eyes wide open and not just say "oh, well, the risk of death is ONLY .02 so I know I will make it because the odds are in my favor. NO that is not an informed person and IMO these pages or forums if you will, are a very important part of research to find out what could happen and what is the most common complication among those that have had one or some. Sorry if I hit a sore spot but you will never know the shock I felt go through me from actually "seeing" a list and reading about the individuals who have passed away and about why and their family's they've left behind. Perfect example of SOMEONE VERY INFORMED AND READY FOR ANYTHING WAS Jade Greene on that list. She was ready 100% for anything and she even has a letter posted in case she didn't make it. It might do some of you good to go and read it, and as hard as it must have been for her mom to post what she left for them "just in case", she still says don't quit if it is what you want. Anyway, I felt cheated of information and knowledge when I was sent that page and now you say there is another one of complications I still haven't found. Some day these will not be hidden but out in the open for all to find VERY easily for their research. TY for your responses and caring thoughts. Have a peaceful night, Brenda Lee.

Brenda, I respect your concern and I read the memorials before deciding that I should try to get funding for the surgery. I did not find it to be hidden. In all honesty I believe that the surgery is not best for you. Best of luck in whatever you decide.

Sherri, You were fortunate to have been able to see that forum before filing for help with financing. I on the other hand did not see it and now have. I question my decision and as I said will take this knowledge and put it to use in figuring out the real statistics of what I have collected on not only the death rate but complication rate as a whole. I know your are a very positive person about the surgery and I am a scared pre-op who doesn't know where else to post to get more info on the CONS of this life altering choice I have ahead of me. I know the pros very well . I feel as though you just don't want me to talk about this or something but I have to or I feel like I am not able to get it out of my mind and sort this for the best choice for me. KWIM? You have been very helpful to me in the past and now as well but by judging me for opening up on something that has shocked me and I am trying to come to terms with is IMO wrong. I need your positive attitude now if ever to stay focused and to keep seeing the good stuff and not just the bad or mediocur. Can you show me the complication forum? I still cannot find that either. I am very happy that your on your way to your new life and have done so good so far. I can only hope I can do 100 times to good you have if I do take this path. Have a peaceful night, Brenda Lee.