Emotional Day

I am having an emotional day and just need to vent. Well today is the first day in almost four weeks I morned food.   I fully knew what I was getting myself into and what I signed up for when I decided to have RNY. I knew my life style was going to change and there was food that I won’t ever have again. Logically I know this and do not want to do anything that is going to sabotage myself. Yesterday, my mother-in-law (who moved in with us a few years back) came home bearing gifts.   Ohh not the gifts us WLS want to see in our homes. She had two boxes of Cinnabon’s and a huge bag of KFC with all the works.  She has never had a weight problem in her life and she eats like absolute crap! It’s not fair that she doesn’t weigh 300lbs, because the way she eats she should! No exaggeration trust me. I digress, getting back to my story…  We were walking out the door when she got home, it wasn’t a big deal at the moment because I was leaving and didn’t have to deal with it. Well this morning I did, there they were those damn yummy smelling cinnabon’s looking at me in the kitchen and my husband sitting on the couch eating one (who also has never had a weight problem).   I dealt with it, but when my son asked me to make him lunch and wanted the KFC, I had a melt down.  I made it for him but then had to go into my room and cry. It’s so stupid I am crying over food, how ridiculous is this? I didn’t dare take a bite or try to eat it because I don’t want to dump or even worse find out I don’t have any intolerance's.   I know I am going to have days like this, and so glad I have you all on this board I can vent to.

Hey Michelle,

You're on the right track acknowledging that this is your issue not theirs, however....in that we all live together, asking for a little support is not  unreasonable.  I too have someone that lives with us and has no weight issue.  I had to ask him to please think about adding a few 'grilled' breast to the KFC order if he didn't want to live with a total *itch.  Common courtesy goes a long way. 

As far as the cinnabon...........my family would NOT have brought that stuff in the house knowing full well that I just had surgery.   I didn't tell them they couldn't have it, they were just supportive enough to have it outside the house rather than bring it in the house.  I am going to have to ask our 'border' to please keep cereal in his room as I have this childhood ritual of biting the sweet side off the mini shredded wheats and tossing the dry side to the dog.  Yeah bizarre I know and unfortunately it's his favorite.   

Now with sweets I dont ban them but there is a time limit.  There will be no packages of anything laying around.  Eat now for tomorrow it goes out to the pig who is supposed to get fat!  That is usually a short enough time period for me to be strong and I get the satisfaction of tossing what they were rude enough to bring in and tempt me with!  ha!  (yeah Im not really over it either, lol)
I would have asked them to fini**** tonight because 'fat' foods can't be hanging around with me no mo!!!  Keep in mind and in the fridge a supply of greek yogurt as a little cinnamon, splenda or stevia, vanilla etc can go a long way to feed that sweet tooth.

Good Luck

Deb

Wow Deb, another great avatar!

Hey Deb -

First wanted to comment on the great new pic!  Love it!.

As always thank you for all of your support and great advice.   I think that the thing that really got me is, which I didn't mention before is she made the comment that she bought my fav thing at Cinnabon and brought it home, but then remembered that I couldn't eat it.  I thought to myself are you freaking kidding me??  You live in my house,  have helped take care of my boys & took a week off work to help out and you forgot I had WLS??  Ok, so I'm really not over it!  LOL  

People can be very inconsiderate. Unfortunately we do have to learn to deal with it. When I feel this way I try to remember that this was my decision to have this surgery. I am very fortunate that my husband is so supportive and we are Empty Nester's. I know it is so hard. You know I started going through a depression about 3 weeks out so I think you are pretty much on time for this. You hang in there and remember we are here to encourage you, so feel free to vent anytime.

Elizabeth -

Thank you!  My husband for the most part has been supportive, but my mother-in-law is  clueless.  I don't want to restrict what they bring into the house, but honestly no one in this house needs all of the crap.   Like Deb said, it doesn't bother me if they bring in a serving and eat it, but when it's lying around and there is an abundance around it gets to me.

 

I do understand where you are coming from. I think that on some level she does not want you to change. Some how it threatens her. It is hard for me to keep my mouth shut to my friends when I see how much they eat and the junk they eat. When I watch them eat huge proportions when we go out, I get embarrassed about how I used to eat that much too. I think Deb gave you excellent advice though. She is a wise woman. I hope your family will respect your feelings.  

Michelle,

I can so see this playing out as I read it. My feelings about her.... that she walk up next week and weigh 400 pounds.
The cinnabons ... they fit great in a gas tank... (ok, so I am vicious in my head,,,never do this for real)

Now I know what to look out for come the holidays... I  , in my head, think... I will be ok... but I bet.. I will have a melt down as you did.

I am just over the hill Michelle... why not go for a short walk , when the temp cools down ,,, I think by the end of the week it should be better. I can come out there. We can walk in circles for all I care... you need  someone around who understands.

Hugs Michelle... we are here for you and you know I am .,...

 

Kristen -

Thank you so much!  Actually, going for a walk isn't a bad idea.  I was so wrapped up in myself today & I just couldn't see the forest from the trees.    

Thank you for being here for me! 

Michelle,

You are still beginning and not too far out of surgery, hormones are going full boar and this is all so new.  Please know that it will get better.  As a person who loved food and didn't love myself because of my relationship with food prior to WLS I completely understand.  This surgery has given me 2 very important gifts;  The ability to make better foor choices because my relationship with food has changed, but more importantly the gift to speak my mind for myself because I do count.  This was severly missing from my 1st marriage but thankfully my 2nd husband reminds me of this all the time and after 9 years with him I get it and after surgery I really got it.  It's really ok for you to sit down with your family and tell them you're not ok with them bringing this into the house at this point so soon after your surgery maybe in the future it won't matter but right now it does.  The key here is that you have to tell them it's not ok.  As hard as it may be, and preface it with "I mean no disrespect" if it helps you but sometimes you do need to be a bit selfish when it comes to your own health. 

I hope this doesn't come across as a lecture as it isn't meant that way.  I really mean it as support cuz I've totally walked in your shoes before.

At some point further out, you can have a bite of a cinnabon if you want it and you'll realize you aren't missing anything!  For me, it wouldn't make me dump but it's so doughy I would have a grouchy pouchy!  LOL

Hugs, my friend you're gonna do just fine.

Barb