QOD 6/8/04

THANK YOU everyone for you HONESTY!!! I really appreciate it! It is nice to know my feelings are normal! I just don't meet/or hang around with women who aren't "baby crazy" and I have 1 friend who constantly tells me to think really hard about it before I make that big move!

Shannon: I am so much like what you posted that it is unreal. I never wanted kids as a young adult. But as I got older and all my other friends were having children and so forth I started to think that manye I was just in a selfish phase in life and that long term I thought that having kids would not be bad, but I was still deathly afraid. When I hit 30, I thought I needed to have a child....but as things worked out I didn't have one then. My husband at the time died and I have since remarried. I have been remarried now for almost 3 years and we still don't have kids. The plan is to try the beginning of next year, but I am like you and have been wondering if this is really the thing to do. Am I less of a person if I don't have children, and will I regret it is I don't have them...and will I regret it if I do (I know that sounds bad, but better to question it before than after). I am 33 years old and my husband is 38. He says if we don't have a child before he turns 40 then we shouldn't have them because we will be too old. So, I am where you are. If anyone wants to email me privately about this, feel free...just please understand that this is a struggle for me and I'd rather not get any harsh responses. Thanks! Christy

Shannon, Don't feel bad about your fears. Not everyone was cut out to be a parent. Maybe that is the case with you. Take your time. Don't rush into anyting you may regret. In my case, I knew I was meant to be a mother. I can't imagine life without children. I wanted to be pregnant. I came close to marrying a man who ended up being sterile. I am now so glad it didn't work out for us. He & his wife adopted but it wouldn't have been the same. My husband & I had 3 wonderful sons. The baby just got married & they are hoping to have children before they are 30. That's only a few short years away. On a related note, my surgeon is new to our area. His practice opened just over 1 1/2 years ago. One of his early patients is now pregnant. She is the first for his practice. She couldn't conceive before her surgery. She is at goal & just thrilled. Dixie