I'm Just Grumbling
On Thursday, I was monitoring the training for one of the products that my staff built. I'm in a room with about 20 people, many I've never met, when the trainer, Patti says, "Connie, how much weight have you lost so far?" I've never kept my surgery a secret, but I felt like I had been "outed." I answered and then she asked how I had done it. She knew very well that I had surgery so I don't know what the purpose of all this was. I answered that I had gastric by-pass surgery in March. Then she said, "Oh, that's the same surgery Gretchen had, right? Gretchen is her boss who did have wls a couple of years ago and has gained a great deal of her weight back. I said that I didn't know because I felt that it was not my place to "out" Gretchen or talk about her surgery. Then Patti asked how much I weighed before surgery. I said that I was sure the class was tired of hearing about me and anxious to get on with training and didn't answer. After class, Patti (who's larger than I was pre-surgery) came up to me and said that thank God she doesn't have a doctor that comments on her weight or tells her to lose weight. After all no one has proven to her that losing weight will help with any of your physical ailments if you're just chunky. I don't care if she's happy at her weight and wants to stay there. More power to her. I'm just not thrilled that she made my weight an issue in front of 20 people.
Of course after Patti's comments in the morning, at lunch my eating became the topic of conversation. We were at a Mexican restaurant and I ordered one cheese enchilada a la carte. I skipped all of the tortilla and ate about 3/4 of the filling. No chips, just a few ounces of cheese for lunch. One of the women at the table said, "Oh my God, that's a lot of food for you isn't it? Aren't you afraid of gaining your weight back?" I thought she was teasing and then realized that she wasn't. I looked at her clean as a whistle plate that had previously held two enchiladas, rice and beans and then looked at the chip bowl next to her that was empty and clamped my mouth shut.
I'm not enjoying being under a microscope. Is anyone else going through this?
Connie
Hi Connie,
I hate being under a microscope as well! Actually, I am a trainer in my job, so luckily, I am with "new" people almost all of the time, so they don't know what I looked like before now. But I will tell you that my friends and family, with whom I eat most of my meals, are awesome. It's the people who don't know what I have been thru since surgery that say the stupid things.
People are so ignorant. You are very strong to have not cleaned your trainer's clock after class!
Thanks for posting this. Sometimes I forget that I am not the only person in the world going thru this!
Lisa
Connie
THANK YOU FOR THAT POST I thought that I was the only one... or maybe that i was being overdramatic... but I feel the same way. its hard when you become the topic of conversation> It is not that i am embarassed or anything... i just feel it is personal. AND since when is it ok for anyone to ask your weight. i think that it is considered RUDE! I mean what because we dropped some LBS.... its ok to ask us what we weighed so they can feel better about themselves?
UGGGHHH!!! I hear ya sister. have a great weeekend
-KIM
-109
I have one word to describe this woman:
Beeeeeeyotch.
(Sing with me now to the tune of Mickey Mouse:
"B-e-e-y....why? because you're nasty.
o-t-c.....see? You have no class!
h-spells beeyotch!
You're a beeyotch. (Yes you are!)
You're a beeyotch. (Yes you are!)
Forever you will hold that banner high! high! high!
la la la la la la la la la la la....")
Connie, what a great post... I can't believe you didn't say anything to the crazy lady, I wouldn't have been able to keep my mouth shut... I too have a co-worker that had surgery before me 8 months before me to be exact, and people are always telling me what she's been eatting and how they can't believe she hasn't lost more weight (I've lost more than her already and her one year anniversary is in August) I just look at these people and remind them daily that we are completley different and you can't compaire people... so right now I'm not under the microscope but my co-worker is, I just don't know if she knows it or not...
Lori
-83
Oh my gosh Connie!!! I would've been steaming mad and confronted her about her ignorance. How rude!!! and the woman eating at the restaurant I DEFINITELY would have been like... "no now see BEFORE surgery I would've pigged out and cleaned my plate...and then looked at her plate and said... "im sure you know what I mean" oh no ...thats messed up that they did that to you! People are so ignorant!!! GRRRR!!! 
You have so much class Connie!
Elizabeth M 
You have so much class Connie!
Elizabeth M 
Connie,
I have the same problem with my husbands boss. We have to go to alot of functions where he also goes and he is always making comments about my weight and how much have I lost now. I have not kept my surgery a secret and have been the poster girl for gastric-bypass ever since. I feel like I always have to explain to the strangers staring at me after one of his comments- I especially hate it when he calls me "Hey Slim". I am still 210 lbs and no where near slim! So the last time he said something I looked him right in the eye and in front of everyone there, I told him I put the scales away and my weight would no longer be the topic of conversation anywhere! I don't feel that anyone else needs to know things that personal about me anymore. I haven't seen him since but I'll let you know how it goes next time! As far comments that other people make to or about you, my husband said it best when he told a friend the other day that "Dawn would tell you to go **** yourself and walk out, she doesn't put up with anything from anyone!" It was the sweetest thing I heard him say about me! I am good to everyone so don't bring your attitude my way. Those are words to live by,
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