OT - need to vent

I HATE stupid, inconsiderate people!!!!!! I got a call from an old friend that we haven't seen in awhile, although I've tried, and she only lives about 5 miles away. She was going to have her granddaughters this weekend and since the oldest has been asking about my daughter (they used to live next door) and wanted to play with her, she figured this would be a good weekend. So we set up today as a day to do something together with the girls and to catch up on each other's lives. She was going to call me in the am when she had the girls. I finally called her at 11. She said she was rushing about and didn't have much time to talk cause she was getting ready to leave. She and another friend, whom she sees often, were taking the kids to a small amusement park type place an hour away. When I mentioned that we had set up today as our day for the girls to get together her response (as always) was that everything was going nuts and the phone's been ringing off the hookl and the 5 year old scraped her knee last night and... and... and.... Well, she than said - you can come if you want. Well, I don't know this friend of hers, or this woman's 2 yr old, we would have to take separate vehicles because the 5 of them would be traveling together, and I was not interested in trying to catch her up on my life with a complete stranger around. I usually just shut up where she is concerned, cause she's a cronic complainer. But she's never done anything like this before. So I called her on it. I told her she should have told the other woman no, or at least had the decency of calling me to see if we would go as a group. I said that it sounded as if I hadn't called, they would have left and I wouldn't have even heard from her at all. She just started her excuses again and said we would get together another time - she's been saying that for a few years. I thought we finally had a date planned, and she confirmed the date with me last night!!! The reason for this story - I don't understand why I surround myself with people that are takers and not reciprocal givers. I have loads of "friends", however all but a few are very one sided - I do all the contacting to keep us in touch. I don't understand why I have such a hard time staying away from these kind of people. They are just not worth my energy!! But I keep getting sucked back in any way. Friendship - real friendship - is a two way street, and something that both parties need to work at. I value friendship over most other things in life. I work at my friendships, and I am making a commitment to let loose all those one-sided deals where all I get out of it is frustration. Maybe this is my new attitude about myself talking. Whatever it is, I've spent most, if not all, of my life fat and being invisible or being walked all over. NOT ANY MORE!!! Regardless of what size I am, I'm a good, caring person and I will not be ignored!! Well, thanks for letting me vent!! mgm -52

been there...had "friends" like that!

We must have the same circle of friends. I have a lot of very good aquaintences but no really close friends. I hate that - I would love to have a best galfriend to do things with, and share my victories and defeats with. but my best friend turned against me when I bought my house and got approved for surgery - the green eyed monster got her. now she keeps telling everyone how she would rather live in her trailor and be healthy then live in my 4 bedroom house and be sliced open anytime. Oh well that is her problem

Dear Marla, I think we have all been there - done that but my congratulations go to you for realizing that you are too valuable to be used. You are indeed a good, caring person and very richly deserve reciprocal relationships. Hang in there and let the blood suckers go!

I am sorry Marla this happened to you , I have had a few woman whom I thought were friends do this to me, But I learned the hard way...... Now I only have 2 woman friends(as I am new to florida) and I work very hard at keeping these relationships happy, but only because they also work just as hard to keep our friendships strong... I think it's not the quantity of friends , but the quality that counts more... Hope it all works out , I think your a very nice woman God Bless you! Hugz Mary

Wow Marla - I am just pissed for you! I know I have had friends like that in the past and chucking them is no big deal. You know, it might be emotional at first, but really it feels so good in the end. Dina

Marla, Good riddance to bad rubbish. You certainly don't need this person in your life. At least once a year, I "clean house." I do a mental inventory of all the people in my life and how they impact the quality of my existence. Do I feel better after spending time with them or drained? Do they enhance my life? Do I look forward to seeing them? Do I enjoy their company? Do I like myself when I am around them? Am I the one always trying to maintain contact? If someone is not enhancing the quality of my life, I disengage and stop investing. In addition to weeding out the toxic people, it also helps me appreciate the really wonderful people in my life. There are a lot of wonderful people in this world. There's no reason to spend time with people who don't appreciate how terrific you are. Hugs, Connie