Jolly Fat People?

I was driving back home from Tucson tonight, lost in thought. One of the things that kept running through my head was whether or not there are any MO people who are truly happy with their weight and have no desire to change. Before surgery, I told anyone and everyone that I was happy with myself and the only reason I was considering surgery was to take the weight off my joints and kidneys. Purely for health reasons. I thought it was pretty shallow to want to lose weight for vanity reasons. I know tons (literally) of Big Beautiful Women who state that they are just fine and have no desire to lose weight. Hell, I was one of them. I always said that I liked my "curves". Now that I've lost over 50 pounds and am starting to like the appearance changes, I'm realizing what a load of bull I was selling to myself. I admit it. I want to look better. I want to be more socially acceptable. I do care that people stare at me on a plane or in a fast food line when I'm heavy. Even though the obesity rates are astronomical and being overweight is becoming the norm, we live in a weight prejudiced society. I'm tired of being judged negatively for my appearance. I'm tired of people presuming that I'm lazy because I'm fat. I can't tell you how many people have been shocked at how active I am despite my weight. If one more person tells me it's a shame that I'm overweight because I have a pretty face, I'll rip out their lungs through their nostrils. (Down Connie) OK, I'm done with my late night musing and ranting. Connie

Well, when I was younger it was all about looks. As I got older what made me make the decision was my health. The getting pretty part is a big bonus - a HUGE bonus, but what got me to this point was being miserable all the time, not being able to sit in some chairs comfortably, not wanting to go places because I had no energy and on and on. I'm not going to lie - being smaller is heavenly. But that alone wasn't enough to get me in there under the knife. Dina

I've never believed that there could possibly exist a truly happy, contented morbidly obese person. I certainly have never tried to pretend that I was one of them, although I had to pretend that I was a "healthy" MO person in order to maintain a job and function in society. But when the day was done, more often than not, I'd find myself laying down in bed, sometimes at 6:00 at night -- the prime time to be with my husband and children -- because I was exhausted and thoroughly depressed from the effort of "functioning." I was just thinking about this on Friday, after having spent my first full week at my new job -- how nice it is not to have to "pretend." In interviewing for work, I made the decision to tell my prospective employers about the surgery and to convey that this was an exciting time in my life. Fortunately, in all instances they were supportive and appreciated my honesty. And now, a week into the job, no one is asking intrusive questions or paying any attention to the issue whatsoever. We are all focused on the work and I am treated equally in every regard. This is so new to me!!! I don't ever want to forget where I've come from, but I sure am glad to see that place grow dimmer as I move forward in my new body and new life. Great topic, Connie. God bless and be well, Maureen

I have spent the last 31/2 years of my life on antidepressants and telling everyone I was fine being the token big girl - so what if I was 360 lbs, I told people, I look pretty good for my weight. (SHEESH I see those old pictures and I want to die of embarassment for ever saying that!) but I really didnt like myself. I had been researching WLS for about a year when I went to a body acceptance group in college and "decided" I was fine just the way I was since I was "healthy" - yeah right. They made me feel like it would be shallow to get WLS and that I could get the same results if I just ate as if I had wls. I am glad reality set in once I got out of that group. I am glad WLS is such an effective tool. I feel better, and I look better. Hey, now I am just morbidly obese - I am not super obese. (Weird, celebrating morbid obesity, eh?) -Sherrie

I don't know how a person can be happy, though I claimed to be also, when they can't fit into the scale of society (seats, towels, bathrobes at a spa, plane seats, a regular clothing store) and, most of all, feel exhausted every night just from getting around. These things would nibble at my mind, as I nibbled at everything else. But the drive to eat and feeling of comfort it gave me were more powerful than all these things. I found it more relaxing NOT to take care of myself, i.e., THAT was what felt good. Just the reverse of what you would think, right? Untangling that one will take me the rest of my life and you better believe I'm on it, as I am NOT going back to how I was feeling. Like many here, it was only when my physical health showed signs of breaking down and I had little mobility or enjoyment of daily life that I was able to take steps. I hope so much for people like me that advances will be made that enable help without something as radical and risky as this surgery. Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for the surgery, but I think more young people could do this if the stakes weren't so high. Nothing I ever tried before, including having all my excess weight off for five years, was able to extinguish my preoccupation with food...until this surgery. I understand that this is probably, alas, temporary relief and am very much going about every form of ha*****ange that I can to make use of the time. I'm making use of the new life I've been given and I'm hoping that the way this feels will stick. BTW, I bought Susan Maria Whatershername's book on www.bariatriceating.com and am being highly entertained by her account. Not all of us are highrollers who can party to the extent she can, but it's better than a novel to indulge in a little wish-fulfillment via some of what she has been able to do. And her attitude for attending to the detail, what Dr. Phil (but don't start me on him) would call "right thinking," and the work of it all are worth taking a look at. I haven't tried her recipes yet and it did **** me off that they sent me some low-carb candy just to try, think I will write her a letter about that. My doctor emphasizes that we need the drop in insulin to stimulate metabolism and that snacking paves the way to teaching your body to retain weight, even if it's healthy snacking. But I digress. We need more positive examples -- not scary articles about people who don't face or get on top of their emotional issues and backslide (no stones there only compassion, I was one of these for years). So thanks for your post, it's very helpful. Gano

Hi Happy Girl, Jolly Fat People (I always hated that saying!) I was never a jolly fat person. More like miserable, bitter and hurting. I never believed anyone who said they were happy being obese only because it hurts too darn much! I always thought it was more of a "have to be content with who you are" type of thing just as a coping mechanism. I know I had to put on a fake face plenty of times but I hate hate hate being obese. It has caused me nothing but misery. It HAS taught me compassion which I am thankful for but the rest... blech. I am just rejoicing over every single solitary pound lost!!! I am right there with you regarding the face complements. ... lungs through the nostrils hmmm... thats a good idea! Elizabeth M