FEELING DOWN AND NEED TO TALK

I have to put this out to the Board. I really, truly care about everyone here and, just like you, I look forward to logging on, to touching base, to reaching out, to do whatever I can do to help. This board means support and love and understanding and education, and maybe most importantly, validation -- for who we are, where we've come from, and where we're going. Lately, I've expressed my opinion about the trip that is in its beginning planning stages. That's all I meant to do, express my point of view. I feel as if I've been treated badly and that what I was trying to do was completely misunderstood. I know we are all very different people who think very differently. We will experience many differences of opinion as we continue this journey together and I hope that we can all appreciate that and not be mean to each other when it happens. I'm sorry if I did or said something wrong, or even if my opinion sucks. I was only trying to look at it from a different perspective, that's all. I'm weepy and tired and sad, and I'm trying to figure out why...I think what's happened for me on the Board recently has something to do with it. Please forgive me if I've hurt anyone. If you knew me at all, you would know that I am a very kind, decent person who would never hurt anyone intentionally. I'm also pragmatic, a problem solver, and a forward thinker -- comes from my business background. I am honored to be in your company. Thanks for listening. Maureen

I did not vote because I never know if I can go that is up to my hubby. I sure don't know what all this is about I guess I am never around when all the aguring starts. But I love you all and don't want to see any of you hurt. Maybe with all the different personaltities it would be best not to be face to face... Just kidding lol Well come on everyone lets all get along on here we are all heading for the same thing. Zapping this weight problem. Now kiss and make up. Sarah T

Maureen - I had no idea that post was still going on. I've been busy at work and hadn't seen all the hubub. For what it's worth, I didn't see anything wrong with your posts and as far as I'm concerned you've been nothing but supportive and helpful. I think there were just frustrations being expressed that may not have been really about you. Also, for what it's worth, I'm LOVING your Oprah idea moreso than any of the others. Maybe there is a select group of Marchers who would be up for that idea? I mean, it doesn't have to be all of us, but why not some of us? I bet we'd get a little attention from the O herself! I'm just not a Vegas/Cruise/Florida kind of girl and with that I likely won't be going. IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYONE HERE. I want to make that clear. I'm just not fond of atmosphere's where alcohol is one of the main food groups, and I'm not wanting to get together with everyone where the trip is more of a distraction to getting to know my friends from the board. This isn't to say that everyone who goes to this reunion won't have a blast. But I'm a talker. I'd prefer Denny's over Disneyland because I want to get to know the people, not go on the rides, see the sites or be pulled in 12,000 different directions. (And yes, Oprah would be a distraction, but only for a few hours of one day.) I think this is one of those areas where we will have to be happy that some get to meet on one occasion and maybe others on another. It's okay - we all have different comfort zones. Heck, most of the folks who went to see my surgeon in Mexico were up and running around seeing the sites just a few days after surgery. I could have but I just wanted to go home. I stayed in my hotel room and looked at the ocean and watched TV. My poor friend Charlotte obviously wanted to go do things - and did without me - but even if I hadn't had surgery I wouldn't have wanted to go much. One thing I wonder though - I wonder if I will change as I lose weight? I'm sure some of my resistance is wrapped up in my weight, but I'm not sure exactly how much.... Dina

Hi Dina, Your last paragraph hit home with me. One of the things that convinced me to have this surgery was I found myself more and more secluded over time. I had a self-imposed exile going on. Last year I missed my family reunion because I didn't want to get on a plane. I missed one of my best friend's wedding because I couldn't stand the thought of being the fat girl who was there without a partner. I can't tell you how many birthdays, parties and gatherings I've missed in the last year because I just didn't want to be around people and HATED being the biggest person in the room. I have a couple of friends who fly into town for business on a regular basis, but I haven't seen them in over a year because I found excuse after excuse not to get together. They eventually stopped calling and who can blame them. For me, obesity was an insidious disease that not only robbed me of my health, but my self-esteem and confidence. I don't know about anyone else, but it was a barrier between me and life. I'm finding that as the weight comes off, those feelings are gone. I now want to be on the move and out and about all the time. I don't care if anyone thinks I'm fat because this fat is temporary. Besides, the only opinion that matters is mine. Dina, I'm betting that as you lose more and more weight, you're going to feel differently than you do now and you'll be out and about more. In fact, I'm willing to bet you lunch - payable on the Marchers trip. Hugs, Connie

Hi Maureen: I'm not sure if I know what you're talking about. I responded to a post about the trip and just posted my opinions. Please don't be sad. I think you are very nice and appreciate your posts and responses. Sometimes it is hard to guage what someone means from a post, after all in real life you can see the face and hear the inflection of the voice so you can better guage how they are feeling in addition to what they are saying. I'm sure that there will be many discussions about the trip and that your input will be valuable. You may not get your choice of destination but I think the idea of getting together and meeting other marchers is far more exciting than where we do this. Please cheer up and know that we care about you. Louise

I'm really sorry you feel so down and hurt, and that postings on this board had something to do with that. I think everyone on this board needs to realize that, by thenselves, words have no emotions to them. When someone puts out their opinion, it's just that. I think that some times our own feelings at the time can make the words we read seem harsh, when the intent of them was totally innocent. I know I posted a reply that was meant as just that - my opinion, and not intended to get anyone upset or to even take sides in the controversy. I hope you didn't take my comments in a way they were not intended. If so, I truly appologize for that. I can't stand fighting and bickering, and typically prefer to talk out differences and get straight to the point. I'm really glad you feel comfortable eough with us that you can do just that as well. This will blow over, but in the meantime, I hope you can think happy thoughts and get back to being the happy Maureen we cherish so much!! mgm

Hey, thanks you guys. I'm not looking for sympathy, truly. Your kind words and thoughts are very much appreciated. You know, there is such a wealth of wisdom and talent in this group, we should find a way to showcase it, use it, harness it, to the better good of the group. You all are terrific. 'night. Maureen

Hi Sweetie. Don't feel down. We all feel vulnerable sometimes. It's really hard expressing one's self on a message board. It's all interpretation, and that can sometimes get us into trouble where we never thought we'd find it!! As far as the trip thing goes - shake it off. Don't worry about it. I'm sure no feelings were hurt by your response - you had some very valid points to make. I jumped on the Vegas thing because it's cheap (as far as air and accomodations go). I'm like Dinka - I'd prefer to hang out at a pool at the hotel and really get to know all of the wonderful people here. I'd rather do that than gamble! I also liked your Oprah show idea. I love Oprah - sometimes she seems a little too full of herself, but anyone at that stature would seem that way occasionally! If we ever do score some tickets to O, I'm in!! Hang in there! We love you! -Wendy

Maureen, Oh man.... I'm so sorry about all of this. I have to tell you how much I admire you right now. I'm in awe of your strength of character for bringing this forward and being brave enough to post your feelings so honestly. Not everyone can do that. I always value your opinion on this board. You are so warm and compassionate and I can always count on you for encouragement and common sense. When I first read the post suggesting the trip, I was thrilled and thought of several people that I especially wanted to meet. I'd love to meet everyone, but a couple of people stand out. You're one of them. Wherever and whenever this happens, I hope we're both there because I want to give you a big old hug. Hugs, Connie

Maureen you are a sweetheart dont sweat it. I didnt get to see the posts but you are never mean or nasty or anything of the sort. You are always kind and sweet. Connie I just want to give you a big huge hug too from reading your post on janelles message. I just love all you guys!!! :sniffle: Elizabeth M