I Got Dumped

Well after posting yesterday morning that I was dating a new guy, he decided to stop seeing me last night. Why you ask? OK, I'll tell you. Because he's only interested in BBW! Doesn't like average or skinny women. I met him through a BBW group a few weeks ago and told him right away about the surgery. He's been asking a thousand questions and over the last day or two, I could sense a change in him. Last night he said that he said that he hadn't taken the weight loss that seriously until I told him that I lost 4 pounds this last week and then he realized that this was for real. He even asked if would consider having the surgery reversed. Fat chance. Gives a whole new meaning to "Just can't win for losing." Am I a little bummed? Yeah. But here's the good news - After he left, I had absolutely no thoughts of running to food for comfort. In fact, it wasn't until this morning that I realized that I hadn't even thought about a bag of chips, a candy bar or ice cream. Six months ago if something like this had happened, I would have gained 5 pounds overnight. Connie

I'm so sorry this happened to you, but better to find it out now than later. There are people out there who look past externals--you keep looking! Joy -43

Thanks Joy. Yeah I'm glad that it didn't go any further than it did and I avoided any real heartbreak. I figure sooner or later someone will show up that's a good match. Connie

Connie, I'm so sorry to hear that you are no longer seeing your guy. I can't believe that he asked if you would consider having the surgery reversed! I would have asked if he would concider having his lobotamy reversed! You don't sound mad at him in your post, but some people just frustrate me. I don't blame him because he prefers a certain type of woman, we all have a own personal preferences, but to ask you to put your life in jepardy again both with the surgery, and future morbidies just blows me away. You are a gorgeous woman both in looks and personality you should not have any problems finding someone who loves you for who you are at any weight. Oh and congats for not eating bad things out of emotional need. That is a hard battle to win. Leslie

Hi Leslie, Thanks for the support. I wish that I hadn't been so caught off guard and had thought of your lobotomy reply. That one cracked me up. I'm really not mad at him because I do understand that everyone has their personal preferences. I just wish he had been a little brighter, caught on sooner and had not wasted my time in the first place if he really was not interested in someone who would not always be big. Oh well. Connie

Connie, wait for the guy that will see past all physicality -- thin, fat, inbetween -- and who will value instead your inner beauty, wit, wisdom and warmth. He's out there, and he's looking for you -- right now. Be well and be happy, girlfriend. Maureen

Thanks Maureen. You're always a great source of encouragement. Right now I'll go distract myself with aerobics class. Connie

I just started looking at BBW seekers boards on the net...you know just seeing what is going on out there...since my marriage is on the rocks. Just lookin'.. But then it DID occur to me that I am not a normal size and therefore, not attractive to men who like that NOR am I able to seek out a fat admirer (that just sounds creepy, doesn't it??) cause that's gonna change soon. Stuck between a stick and a fat place. LOL I'm sorry you got dumped but if this guy doesn't see your beauty at any size, then he's not the one for you.

Thanks Wendy. It's tough for us 'tween size girls. I just figure I'm going to focus on me for the moment and whatever happens, happens. I'm very sorry about your marriage. That's a tough thing to be going through. You know where to find me if you want someone to talk to. Connie

Connie! I have so much to say about this it's not even funny!!! 1) Get rid of the BBW boards. Granted there are a few semi-normal men who do like larger women, but generally there are a bunch of psychologically damaged men who have some great perversions out there. 2) You are just so pretty and outgoing, I can't imagine you EVER needing to use a board like that to hook up with someone. I see you as the type of person who attracts men regardless of size. You could be 400 lbs and probably still drawing them around like flies. I'm right, aren't I? Admit it!!! 3) You are growing stronger every day with your resolve. I just wish I could eat the spicy foods you've been eating!!! 4) You're too good for him. Seriously. You are. He has a touch of something in the head, so it's best to find out now rather than later! Chin up sweetie pie - you are not going to be on your own long!!! Dina