Ahhhhhhhhhhh what a day.  I have been wierd in the head all day long.  I have been thinking of all the risks, especially with my bmi and open rny.  So I obsess over that most of the day and wonder if I am doing the right thing. I guess it's finally sinking in, instead of a dream it is a dream about to come true!  I know I have to have it, I don't have a choice.  

Later I went to wal-mart and was riding in the chair because of course I can't walk.  While shopping some teenagers said "hey mam" and I said "hello"  they then started yelling "YOU TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FAT!!! SHES TOOOOOOOO FAT TO WALK!!!!!!!!!

I cried and cried and it just confirms I shouldn't think twice about having this surgery.