Yes believe it or not i am fighting depression big time.I have been sleeping a great deal.I mean all night and most of the day.My friends say well thats natural you have had a big surgery so you should sleep.Well i know that this is a problem cause when i sleep even when im sore from sleeping there is something wrong.
So why am I depressed you ask.I have had this awesome surgery that is changing my health,my life,and even increased my life expectancy incredibly,and i am whinning .Well I am mourning the loss of food.Can you believe it,im crying over the loss of my pizzas.I wonder sometimes did I do the right thing,maybe I cant live without a rack of ribs once a month or the ROBBY  GORDON RIB EYE at DALTONS steak house.All I know is talking bout it helps and thats what i am doing.
Yesterday i started my first meeting with jason who is my new therapist.I will meet with him once a week for a while and figure out just what makes me tick.Then I will proceed to get rid of the tocks.Ha im crazy with metaphores.
To say that im sorry I had this surgery would totally be wrong.I will tell you though that jst cause you have this surgery does not mean you are healed by no means.This surgery is just a tool to help me get myself back on track and the only way that will happen is if i work my ass of to get there.

Ok the surgery is done and I am feeling much better.I still am niot eating anything but im ready to work on the underlining reasons why i liked food so much.I know that I use food to comfort me.If im sad ,if im happy,if im sick,if I feel good.I dont need a reason do you?
I am going to support group meetings and finding it very helpfull.I even tried a Overeaters ANon.It makes sence cause even though I am not eating anymore,I still am running on the same brain.Not eating doesnt fix what made me big.So I am on my way

Im two weeks out and feeling good.I have so much more energy but i dont know what to do with myself.I have found that it might be a good idea to get into a support group causde life without food is becoming a bore.
Dont get me wrong i love losing this weight but I dont now how to have fun anymore.Everything i used to do was in somehow attatched to food.
I really need to know how other people deal with this feeling.

man what an incredible feeling.If someone would have told me just how good i would feel in only two weeks I think i would have had this surgery years ago.i am totally full of feeling good and endless energy.I would like to put my doctor on a pedistal cause he has completely changed my life.He literally saved my life.
yesterday I went on a walk with my mom and I could not believe the difference in the way I got through the track that we have done several times before.There was no change in my breathing and I could have walked twice the distance.
Today will be my first day going to the gym since the surgery.its important to wait untill the doctor tells you to proceed and he has.Im not gonna feel uncomfortable in the gym today I know it cause I feel great and I am shrinking as we speak.

Well its been one week since the surgery and i am feeling very good.Im not in any pain at all,everything went smooth.I was on the operating table for about 5 hours though.I guess my liver was enlarged so it was hard for them to get around it.
So far I think my diabitis has pretty well gone away as well as all my other health problems.What a miricle.